When the Dodgers are nice to the Giants, it’s time for Bulldogs to root for Boise State

Your Los Angeles Dodgers gave Giants short-timer Bruce Bochy gifts and polite applause the other night at Chavez Ravine.

Did that sentence not make your eyes throw up? The end of civilization is upon us.

Before our carbon-based of a planetary timeshare disintegrates any further, let’s take a quick whirl around the world of sports.

That’s so Raider

Antonio Brown is the Raider-iest Raider in the history of Raider-dom. Without ever, you know, being a Raider.

Our friends at Eye Patch Inc. released Brown on Saturday morning, after he asked for his release on Instagram on Friday night, after he posted a private phone conversation with the head coach on Friday afternoon, after he tearfully said sorry to the team Friday morning, after he “allegedly” called the general manager a cracker on Wednesday, after he defied the commissioner’s helmet laws for an entire training camp, after he blamed Europe for feet burn.

Never thought you could miss a Raider who never, you know, played a snap for the Raiders.

Extra point: Stunned the Raiders didn’t just trade Brown to the Patriots for a seventh-round pick. That, my friends, would have been the Raider-iest Raider move.

Boise bounce

Boise State got the jump on Fresno State football, as always, into the Top 25. Chase down that pride with a nice hand clap for your worthy adversary, would you?

There wasn’t a Top 25 team on Fresno State’s schedule when this party began. The Broncos showed up at No. 24 after one week. This is a good thing, if you can be bothered by the big picture.

You want your Bulldogs to finish where they finished last year? Hope Boise State is ranked when they inevitably play later this year (it can only come in the Mountain West championship game), because those are the quality wins that dream seasons are made of.

Or, maybe you’d prefer a 10-win season against no one in particular.

Duke is Duke

So, Duke investigated Duke to see if Duke broke any NCAA rules when Zion Williamson was playing basketball at Duke.

Stunningly enough, Duke decided Duke did no wrong.

May we all get to investigate ourselves and render our own verdicts.

USC hot seat

Tell me again how Fresno State lost to USC last week? Because that is the worst-coached Trojans team we’ve seen since Lane M. Kiffin was getting fired at Terminal 1.

Clay Helton may be the first coach who needed to get fired after a season-opening win. His play calling and clock management was that puke-based.

Straight talk

Fresno State president Joseph Castro had no comment for a recent Bee story on the Bulldog Stadium Renovation That Never Was.

Good for him. The athletic directing should be left to the athletic director. Terry Tumey is a grown man who can answer for his own department.

Besides, we liked his answers just fine. Tumey made no excuses for the sorry state of Bulldog Stadium – can’t wait for Caulking Giveaway Day, so we can fill the concrete cracks on our own! He didn’t waste our time with empty promises he can’t possibly keep.

Careful, Tumey. You’re in great danger of being a likeable guy.

Extra point: Fresno State is what it is. Wrap your arms around it and let the ambiance hug you back.

Yaz, sir!

We love this Mike Yastrzemski rookie as much as the next Giants fan, but how this kid isn’t playing for the Boston Red Sox, we’ll never know.

Such as it is, may the Grandson of Yaz wave home runs into the fair side of McCovey Cove for the next 10 years.

This story was originally published September 7, 2019 at 10:00 AM.