Don’t leave. Not like this.
We were ready for this five-year stand to end. All our friends thought it was time we start seeing other NBA teams.
And, when your obnoxious minority owner shoved a player in the NBA Finals, well, we don’t need to stay in an abusive relationship like that.
When your Golden State Warriors gave up the ghost against the Toronto Raptors the other night, there should have been closure to this breakup. I mean, hey, we had a good run – five straight NBA Finals and three parades – and we’ll always have those game nights on 66th Avenue to cherish.
Then, as Steph Curry’s game-winning shot didn’t, it really hit us between the misty eyebrows.
This Warriors dynasty can’t end this way. Not with Kevin Durant Instagramming from a surgery ward. Not with Klay Thompson in an MRI tube.
Who do the writers think we are, fans of how the final Sopranos episode ended?
No, we’re going to need better closure than this. We’re going to rescribble the ever-after to this script.
The Warriors have got to bring back Durant. I know, we all thought he was faking the severity of his calf injury for a month, treating him like he had the man flu.
After all, if Thompson and Kevon Looney could rub dirt on their boo-boos and play through the ouch, what made The Greatest Player on Land so special?
We’re sorry. We thought it was about time when you came back to play in Game 5. We thought, “See, that wasn’t so bad,” when you dominated for 12 minutes.
Then, our cardiacs broke when your Achilles’ heel snapped. We guess you weren’t faking it, after all? We had no idea you really did care.
Give us another chance. We’ll make you Chicken Noodle Soup and take you to all your doctor’s appointments while you rehab for the next year, and will let you take all the time you need before you feel better.
If that means we have to kick rocks during the 2020 season, fine. All these NBA Finals have been ruining our June dinner plans, anyways. We’ll take a year off and wait for you. Promise.
Same goes for you, Thompson. You are the Brother to Curry’s Splash. We always loved you, but never appreciated all the time you took out the trash. All you did was drop 20-plus a night from the north.
Now, your ACL is torn and your contract is up. We were prepared for you to cash out elsewhere.
Is it too late to change our minds? When we saw you come back to the court with only one ACL in Game 6, and shoot those two free throws, and run back and play defense until your brain got the message from your knee that it’s over …
Let’s give this one more try.
Maybe you and Durant come back, and it still isn’t enough. By then, Fresno Farm Marketer Giannis Antetokounmpo and the Bucks mature into the Next Unbeatable Thing, or Kawhi Leonard goes to the Clippers and becomes the first star to win NBA titles in three places, or LeBron returns the Lakers to … yeah, right. Never mind that last one.
The point is, we don’t care if you come back and the entire San Francisco relocation fails. We’re willing to give this another try if you are. Just for old time’s sake.
After all, you got us to like basketball again for the first time since the Michael Jordan days. If Jordan could come back from Double-A Birmingham and rekindle the championship fire in Chicago, maybe we can get back together for one more run.
San Francisco Giants Fans Who Woke Up to the Horror that They Can No Longer Ignore That It’s Now Exclusively Baseball Season.