Surrendering to Motherhood: Saying 'yes' to Nosy Nielsen

I'm no good to market researchers, for a couple good reasons:

1. I once worked for a marketing research company that designed consumer surveys.

2. I have a BA degree in Advertising/Journalism.

3. I'm a newspaper reporter.

All of this means that for market research companies, I'm persona non grata.

I'm not your average consumer. I know how the sausage is made and therefore, my "insider knowledge" could skew my replies.

So, when I got a letter last week from Nielsen research company with an actual $1 bill enclosed and promising $20 more if I completed a survey, did I decline, knowing that they definitely didn't want my answers?

Nope. I took that $1 bill, put it in my wallet, and started the survey. Hey, 21 bucks is 21 bucks.

Anyway, how hard could it be?

I whizzed through the first couple questions.

What TV shows do you watch? What streaming services do you use? What kinds of stores do you shop at?

The questions continued. Nielsen wanted more and more and more details.

How many hours a day do you watch TV? What kind of internet do you have? How often do you use streaming services? How often do you shop at certain stores? In the past six months, 30 days and seven days?

I had already spent about 20 minutes on the survey but there was no countdown or ticker to indicate my progress. Was I half done with the questions? Less than half? Ten percent? I wanted that $20 but sheesh, how long was this going to go on?

As the questions continued I noticed something.

"I shop at local/independent stores" was always the last choice on the list, as if that selection was barely worth counting.

Oh you "shop local"? Pshhhhhh. Whatever. Us Nielsens just want to know how many electronics you bought in the past 30 days. And are you planning on buying a new or used car in the next six months?

Was I planning to fly anywhere in the coming weeks or months? Had I traveled outside the U.S. in the past six months? Did I go to sporting events at stadiums? Was I planning on buying a new appliance in the next few months? What about a new house?

I haven't been doing any of this. Thanks for the FOMO, Nielsen.

Then the survey started asking about newspapers.

Oh ho ho, Nielsen people, here we go! I am a newspaper junkie and read and subscribe to many. Get ready to be impressed by my newspaper and website consumption. Boom!

Presented a list, I checked "yes" to all of the national and regional newspapers I read. But the Napa Valley Register was not on the list.

I was offended. How dare they leave out my precious Napa Valley Register from this survey! Don't they know it is The Source for All Things Napa?

Fortunately, there was an "other" category for newspapers. I added "Napa Valley Register." I read and subscribe both print and online, you Nosy Nielsens.

Toward the end of the survey, it asked what industry I worked in.

Media, I selected.

"Do you work in advertising, public relations, market research, newspaper, radio, TV," blah, blah, blah?

Ooof. You got me there, Nielsens. The jig is up.

I knew what would happen if I answered yes. My questionnaire would be tossed. My answers would be considered tainted. No one would know about how often I read the Napa Valley Register in print or online. The number of other newspaper subscriptions I pay for would not be tallied. My dedication to newspapers would count for nothing.

I answered truthfully and finished the survey.

I wonder if I'll still get the $20?

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This story was originally published June 3, 2026 at 6:17 PM.