Surrendering to Motherhood: The mystery of the missing Volkswagen

We Huffmans have been the only residents of our Napa house, having been lucky enough to buy it new, back in 1998 when prices around here were still "affordable."

That means that any and all mail that comes to our mailbox has the name Huffman on it.

So, when mail started arriving at our house addressed to a Federico Morales Lopez, I was a little confused.

The first was a letter from SiriusXM satellite radio.

"Expiration Notice," read the envelope. "Immediate response requested."

Huh. Who is Federico Morales Lopez and why is SiriusXM sending him an urgent-sounding letter to our house?

It was obviously junk mail, but did I throw it in the recycling bin?

Nope.

I opened the letter.

"Your Volkswagen won't be the same without SiriusXM," it read inside. "Your trial will end on May 13, 2026."

Huh. The next day I tried to call SiriusXM customer service but alas, could not reach a human to talk to. From the automated SiriusXM agent, what I could tell was that if Federico Morales Lopez didn't live at our address, I should simply disregard the notice.

Hmmmm. I guess I could do that. But part of me was a bit skeptical. What if this is one of those identity theft things that we all keep hearing about? Not that we have much identity to be stolen - unless anyone wants to take over our mortgage payment, then by all means, steal away.

I looked around our street to see if anyone had parked a new Volkswagen on our block and accidentally flipped their house numbers.

Nope.

I have no reason to suspect Federico Morales Lopez but what if this was a scam? Was that even a real person? Was "Federico Morales Lopez" trying to pretend he lives in our house? Yes, we do have an extra bedroom now that the Huffman daughters have all launched but it currently being occupied as a home office/craftland/cat litter box room. We're not looking for a new roommate.

I saved the SiriusXM letter just in case. We Huffmans will not be fooled so easily, no siree.

About two weeks later we got another letter for Federico Morales Lopez. This was from the "Public Safety Crime Center."

"VOLKSWAGEN Vehicle Owner Anti-Theft Tracking Information Enclosed," the envelope read.

I opened it. Maybe there would be another Federico Morales Lopez clue.

"IMMEDIATE RESPONSE TO THIS NOTICE REQUESTED," it read inside.

According to the Public Safety Crime Center, Federico Morales Lopez is driving a 2019 Volkswagen Tiguan, color unknown.

"We hope you have been enjoying your vehicle so far," but your anti-theft tracking is about to EXPIRE.

Yikes.

First, Federico Morales Lopez' SiriusXM was about to be cancelled. Now his anti-theft tracking! And I had no way of warning him.

My sleuthing continued. I saved the note.

Another week went by and a letter from a local auto dealership arrived in our mailbox. I was at work at the Register's office, so Mr. Huffman retrieved it before I got home.

We got more mail for Federico, he said.

It was his auto registration from the DMV and an extended vehicle warranty notice, so I took it to the dealership and told them about the address mix-up, said my husband.

You WHAT?! I said. But that was Clue #3! And I didn't get to inspect it! Darn it.

He looked confused.

I'm trying to solve The Federico Morales Lopez Mystery, I explained. Like Nancy Drew.

Mr. Huffman just shook his head. Let the dealership figure it out, he said.

Harmphhhh, I thought. Sherlock Huffman was on the case and now a valuable piece of evidence had slipped through my fingertips. Sheesh.

More weeks went by.

What other services was Federico Morales Lopez missing out on?

Apparently he hadn't signed up for SiriusXM yet, which then sent another letter to Federico Morales Lopez.

"Your SiriusXM trial is ending soon!" It read.

Federico Morales Lopez, if you are reading this, I hope you eventually got your registration. And I would hate to be responsible for your loss of SiriusXM satellite radio and your anti-theft device.

Also, you might want to update your address.

Sincerely, the Huffman Family, Napa, California.

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