‘Why didn’t my dad talk about his past?’ Fresno author on pondering life’s questions

“Why didn’t my dad talk about his past?” (Note: All the italicized quotes/questions were graciously shared and given to me by others.)

Autumn marks the beginning of the year for a farmer. Harvest is mostly over and we pause to assess this past year, the ups and downs, good and bad, and what worked and didn’t work.

And as I age, I wonder more and more. Wonder about life, mistakes and regrets, choices and hard work, good fortune and, of course, luck. Others have shared with me questions they too wonder about.

“My grandpa was a mean man. My question: What was his childhood like?”

“My ‘black sheep’ brother had many adventures. Did he ever do anything illegal?”

I wonder by asking questions. With each passing year, I grow more curious. I wonder about some simple yet basic moments in my history, my legacy and family secrets.

“My mother told us her father was dead. I later visited an aunt while traveling in Mexico and she asked me and my sister if we wanted to meet our grandfather. Imagine my surprise.”

I explored wonder in my latest book, “Secret Harvests,” probing into the hidden story of a “lost aunt” who grew up with an intellectual disability and was separated from our family for 70 years due to the racism of World War II when all Japanese Americans were uprooted and incarcerated. Seventy years later I discovered this aunt was alive in Fresno. Thus began a quest to explore family secrets that both divided us and yet bonded us with a shared legacy.

“A few years back I found out that I have a half brother by my late father. I was too embarrassed to meet him. “

When were my dad and his first wife divorced?”

It all began with wondering and questions. Just because I don’t know exact details doesn’t mean the past doesn’t matter. We are defined and molded by our past stories that make us who we are. My step into history helped to personalize people and places. With the passing of parents and grandparents, many think it’s too late to ask and explore. But family histories can be framed by simply posing a question and then wondering. Our imagination is a powerful tool to explore emotions that define us.

Recently, I asked an audience for their questions. They then posed an amazing collection of questions and inquiries. Their questions stirred the imagination that helps us redefine the past and gives us permission to explore by wondering.

“Paternal grandmother’s life before immigrating to the US — claimed she couldn’t remember when asked about it. Later it was clear that she had chosen not to remember. . . “

It takes courage to even ask questions and begin the process of understanding. We ignore the fact that our memories are not just about verified dates and facts, but also about imagination and the human drama of life that must include emotions.

“My grandmother was born and raised on a farm in the Midwest. For several reasons, I have often wondered if she was gay. “

“Why did my grandfather leave California?”

Sometimes simply posing a question opens the door to understanding. With the passage of time, we can step back and try to understand the context of history and the choices families made and the circumstances of those decisions. As I reflect on questions and context, I begin to understand my family’s secret about our “lost aunt” and try to rise above judgment. I begin to enter the realm of empathy.

“I believe looking at birth dates, that my aunt was pregnant when she got married. Did my cousin talk about that with her mom?”

I thank those who have the courage to ask questions. Perhaps we can start this process of exploration during the upcoming holiday season as families gather. It will make for a memorable event by creating touching memories.

“How many generations back were family members alcoholics?”

“I heard that my grandfather and grandmother were first cousins, always wondered about that. “

“How did my father deal with the discrimination he suffered as a person of German descent?”

My writing begins with questions, amazing queries into our stories. I hope to continue to share this journey with others as we define ourselves, our families and our communities. Ask to learn and then ignite wonder.

“Why was my grandmother so spoiled and mean. . . or was she?”

You can go

David “Mas” Masumoto will appear at Reedley College’s Forum Hall on Nov. 9th at 7 p.m. to discuss his book “Secret Harvests” and explore “questions we wonder about.”