Want good sex? Then draw closer to God as religion seems to help, says British study

Is religion good for your sex life? Apparently so, according to a new British study. The study claims that those with stronger religious beliefs tend to have higher sexual satisfaction. It also found that those with more education tend to have less sex and experience less sexual satisfaction than those who lack advanced education.

This kind of data need to be taken with a grain of salt. The details matter. What kind of religion, education, and sex are we talking about here? But this provocative result points toward perennial questions about happiness and the good life.

Let’s begin with the obvious fact that human sexuality is complex and culturally conditioned. Religion and education are part of a process that refines and develops the basic pursuit of pleasure.

This civilizing process leads us beyond our animalistic urges for food, sex and security. It helps us discover uniquely human sources of satisfaction including art, religion and knowledge. It could be that religious people are more satisfied with their sex lives because their faith provides a deeper context and meaning for the sexual act. And maybe the sexual dissatisfaction of those with more education occurs because they are busy with other valuable activities.

Indeed, that over all busyness may provide an explanation of why people are generally having less sex. This general decrease in sexual activity has been widely reported. In 2018, according to one report, a quarter of Americans had no sex at all. Some call this a “sex drought.” The sex drought was exacerbated by the pandemic.

This may not be as disastrous as a real drought that destroys crops and causes wildfires. But it is still unfortunate. Despite our advanced humanity, we are also sexual animals. And sexual pleasure, like culinary pleasure and aesthetic pleasure, is an important part of life.

Happiness lies in a middle path that balances all of the diverse goods of a human life. We ought to seek knowledge and spiritual development as well as delicious food and sexual satisfaction. We need food and water. But also champagne, poetry and dance.

That British study suggests that optimal sexual satisfaction is found in the middle, in terms of number of partners and frequency of sex. Too little sex is obviously not satisfying, even if you’ve got a book or a smartphone to keep you warm at night. But the study also suggests that those who have too much sex are not necessarily more satisfied. The sex addict comes to mind here. The addict is constantly seeking pleasure, but is never satisfied.

This is not surprising. The ancient philosophers recommended the middle path. Aristotle taught that virtue was located between extremes. Courage, for example, resides between cowardice and foolhardiness. This is also the basic wisdom of Goldilocks. The best things are not too hot and not too cold. We thrive in the middle between overabundance and scarcity.

The ancient philosophers also warned that pleasure can seduce and deceive us. Plato described the soul of the pleasure-addict as a leaky jar. If you add liquid to a leaky vessel, it will never be full. The solution is to patch up the leaks by disciplining the pursuit of pleasure.

It is fairly obvious that the best life is not a wild orgy. Hangovers and sexually transmitted diseases make that clear. But some take the warning against pleasure too far. They counsel abstinence, celibacy and self-denial. Asceticism may make you a saint. But that’s not a good life for human beings. We thrive in the Goldilocks zone. A happy life includes moderate amounts of pleasure.

We are not born knowing this. That’s why we need education about sex and about the place of pleasure in our spiritual economy. That British survey suggests that education undermines sexual satisfaction. But formal education is only part of the story. It takes a lifetime of practice to find the middle path.

The sex drought is concerning. But there is more to life than sex. And with sex as with everything else, we need the right amount. Not too much but not too little. The lifelong challenge is to learn how to integrate pleasure into a human life that includes sex but also love, spirituality, and wisdom.