Forgiveness is one of the mysteries of Easter: Commentary by Fresno State professor
Forgiveness is one of the mysteries of Easter. The crucifixion of Jesus does not culminate in a call for vengeance. Rather, Jesus says, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” That poetic phrase contains a philosophical puzzle. It also opens the door to a new way of thinking.
Christian love transforms the ordinary calculus of harm, apology and punishment. Forgiveness is usually connected to an apology and an admission of guilt. Common sense tells us that we should not forgive someone until they confess and take responsibility for the harm they have caused. Forgiveness is supposed to happen after the truth has been admitted and the wrongdoer has made amends.
But Jesus suggests that those who have not apologized should be forgiven. He seems to offer forgiveness to people who do not acknowledge they have done anything wrong. How strange!
This is connected to the even stranger idea of loving your enemies. It makes sense to love your friends. But enemies are those you hate, fear and fight. Common sense suggests that love of enemies is both impossible and imprudent. How can we love those who hate us and want to harm us? And isn’t this a dangerous idea? Love is a welcome embrace. But a hated enemy may take advantage and drive a dagger into your open heart.
Ordinary love involves reciprocity. But those who hate us will not reciprocate, even if we somehow love them. The idea of loving enemies and forgiving wrongdoers goes beyond reciprocity, justice and even common sense.
Perhaps these puzzles and paradoxes point us toward the mystery of God. Easter is, after all, a time of miracles and rebirth. The mysteries of love and forgiveness are theological. It is God who forgives us, even if we don’t know we need to be forgiven. It is God who loves us, no matter what.
But there is also a deep psychological truth here that is beneficial, whatever we think about theology. The idea that forgiveness depends upon an apology is a recipe for resentment. To wait for an apology is often to wait too long.
In reality, sincere apologies are often slow in coming. Some grumpy folks simply refuse to apologize. Others think they have not done anything wrong. Some people die or vanish from our lives before they ever admit their fault or make amends. And sometimes we are harmed by strangers who had no idea that they’ve harmed us.
Life contains lots of harm without apology. An aggressive driver cuts you off on the freeway. A dog owner leaves his dog’s dirty business on your lawn. Graffiti appears on your fence. At the largest scale, the harms of racism, sexism and war typically occur without confession or apology.
It is easy to grow resentful and angry. But these negative emotions are psychologically damaging. Anger and resentment are corrosive. It is better to forgive than to brood in anger. And it is possible to cultivate an attitude of love and forgiveness that is directed toward the general ignorance and cluelessness of humanity.
This attitude develops from the insight that all human beings are flawed and imperfect. The trick is to forgive them for their flaws and love them despite their imperfection. Most of us, most of the time, “know not what we do.” We all make mistakes. We all need tolerance, compassion and forgiveness. We even need to forgive and love ourselves.
One of the messages of Easter is that we can be reborn and renewed if we find a way to forgive those who have harmed us. This includes those who don’t know they’ve harmed us or who won’t admit it.
This is a strange idea. But it is also powerful and liberating. This is a vision of how we might move forward in a world of anger, violence and hate. Love and forgiveness can break the cycle of hate and revenge.
It’s not easy. And sometimes it is not prudent. But there is something miraculous in the power of love and forgiveness. Old wounds can be healed. Anger and resentment can be transformed. And light can be found in the darkness.
This story was originally published April 17, 2022 at 5:00 AM.