COVID-19 stopped Fresno woman’s busy life. Here’s ways she found to cope with pandemic

The first week of March, I drove to my daughter’s house in Granite Bay, the day of her knee surgery. It felt good as a mother to be needed by my grown daughter. She had called upon me to help her after the birth of their two daughters and to assist with packing during their move to their most recent home. All other visits were mostly holiday and birthday visits. But this one was special. She needed me.

Unfortunately, by the seventh day of my stay, the reality of the pandemic hit. Schools transitioned to online classes, so my granddaughters would be home-bound. This was the same day we started hearing about the run on hand sanitizers and toilet paper, which I experienced first-hand on my last grocery run for my daughter.

“They are right here,” said the kind clerk who walked me over to the now-empty shelves. His hand went to his forehead. “I just stacked these shelves this morning.” I shrugged, quickly checked out, and left the store with only half the items I had intended to purchase, specifically no toilet paper or hand sanitizers.

So, we scratched the plan for me to drive back to Fresno for the weekend and return to Granite Bay with my husband. But my daughter was getting around much better with her crutches and using an ever present ice pack to help with swelling and pain. Also, her husband would be home intermittently along with the girls ages 16 and 13. So, I did not feel as if I were deserting her, though I wished I could have stayed another week.

The drive home proved uneventful but quite slow with a very crowded Highway 99. I tried not to think about the probability that I would have to go to the market yet again to fill our cupboards. But sure enough, I did.

I unloaded my suitcase, checked out the refrigerator and cupboards, and drove straight to Trader Joe’s. I bought what seemed like a ton of food, determined to remain home as long as I could. But, alas, we must eat to live. So three weeks later, I was out again, this time to Whole Foods during the designated senior shopping time.

This trip turned out to be my last outing. It wasn’t that the store was overly crowded. My trying to keep the required 6 feet distance while going up and down the narrow aisles proved impossible. I was wearing a scarf tied around my face, but the frustration and fear of getting this terrible virus stressed me beyond words.

“That’s it!” I announced upon arriving home. “ From now on I’m ordering groceries online and having them delivered!” Problem solved.

But food is not the only basic need for us humans. We also need companionship, time with family and friends, socialization opportunities. As the song says, we are “people who need people.” I live with my husband and son, so I wasn’t alone, but I still longed to spend time with my “chosen sisters,” my longtime girlfriends.

So, coffee in hand, one-on-one Facetime conversations or group Zoom meetings help us stay connected. My book club has also transitioned to Zoom meetings. Champagne in goblets, popcorn in bowls, we discuss our monthly book and catch-up with each other. My Town Hall board membership also requires periodic Zoom meetings. I was even invited to hear the director of Chaffee Zoo speak at a Rotary Zoom meeting. Life hobbles on.

I must admit I have met with two of my dearest friends in my backyard. They lured me out with lattes and frappuccinos, so I spaced the wrought iron chairs six feet from the table, establishing our appropriate distance. And recently I went to the dentist. I know we need to support businesses, but I’m in the most vulnerable age group — over 70. So, I’m comfortable with pizza delivery, or my husband picking up hamburgers, or any takeout dinner.

Yet, I fear letting my guard down too soon. I have lived too many years to allow this virus to take my life or, worse, take a loved one’s life because of my carelessness. I have survived measles, mumps, and chicken pox (twice). I made it safely through fears of polio until the vaccination became available when I entered Hamilton Junior High. (Because of this fear, I did not learn to swim until the summer before my sophomore year when swimming was a mandatory sport in PE.)

And as a high school teacher, I regularly came down with whatever flu or cold my students brought to class until we were annually vaccinated by the school nurse. Today, I still get a flu shot and also have been vaccinated for shingles. Now I am awaiting the COVID-19 vaccine — I know one will come, hopefully soon.

So, like most sensible folks, we are staying home, staying safe, staying healthy, trying to make it through a few more years of this life we have been given. Having said that, I do miss hanging out at La Boulangerie or Starbucks or Eddie’s Bakery, sipping coffee with friends. I miss impromptu lunches at the Mad Duck or AJs or Max’s, I miss dinner with good friends at California Pizza Kitchen or PF Chang’s or Piazza del Pane. I miss my daughter and son-in-law and granddaughters. I miss my freedom. I miss my life.

But I have to believe that all will return to normal eventually, albeit a new normal, where businesses will re-open, people will return to work, kids will return to school, and families and friends can socialize at will.

The word “thrive” comes to mind. We will thrive again — socially, psychologically, and intellectually. At least I know that I will. We just have to hang on.

Stay safe, everyone. See you on the other side.