This 91-year-old’s secret to living long begins in her mind

On Thursday, Feb. 21, my mother-in-law Barbara rose at dawn, got dressed, did her daily Tai Chi routine, ate breakfast, carried a basket of towels downstairs to the laundry room, and drove to an exercise class that she leads. It was her 91st birthday.

Mom is an amazing woman. Fresno-born and bred, she is an inspiration and a role model for how to grow old gracefully. She does the usual practice of following a healthy diet and exercising, but a lot of people do that. What impresses me most about Mom is her attitude — she does not think she is too old to learn something new. (Dr. John Medina’s brain rule No. 4 for aging well.) She gets excited about new ideas, new relationships and new ways to do things. I think that is the key to her longevity.

One would think that 91years of living would fill up the reservoir of knowledge a person has; maybe it does for some people, but not for my mother-in-law. She is one of those rare souls not afraid to keep an open mind. To her everything is grist for the mill; why, she will even revise her opinion if necessary. She shows her appreciation for her mind by actually changing it on occasion.

There are those who know what they know and seek to know no further. There are those who seek knowledge only to corroborate or justify what they are comfortable knowing; they discount or avoid any facts or ideas that run counter to their fixed opinions. Then there are those — like my mother-in-law — who love knowledge for its own sake. To them, opinions, ideas, or facts — whether or not they agree with them — are opportunities to learn and grow.

To me, Mom exemplifies the following passage from Rumi.

“Being human is a guest-house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture. Still treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes because each has been sent a s a guide from beyond.”

On Feb. 21, my mother-in-law, Barbara, welcomed her next year of being human. You go, woman, and Godspeed.