NBC justifies showing Rio Olympics on tape delay by patronizing women

Enter the Warzone, Olympic torch bearer of stale news.

▪ Tired of knowing who wins Olympic gold, then having to wait several hours before getting to watch the event on TV?

Blame your wife or girlfriend. Blame your mother, sister or aunt. Heck, let’s just blame females in general. That’s what NBC is doing.

“The people who watch the Olympics are not particularly sports fans,” NBC Olympics chief marketing officer John Miller said a few weeks back. “More women watch the Games than men, and for the women, they’re less interested in the result and more interested in the journey.”

If there’s one thing women hate, it’s watching sports in real time. Either that, or they’ve gotta get the cooking and housekeeping done first.

▪ By the time NBC informs us when Michael Phelps wins his 20th gold medal, Phelps will have already given his retirement speech.

▪ Phelps has those odd purple dots on his back because of a therapy technique called “cupping.” Not because he’s an extra-terrestrial …

▪ The first gold medal for Team USA at the Rio Olympics came in rifle shooting. That’s so 2016.

▪ A British kayaker reportedly capsized on a training run after hitting a submerged sofa.

That settles it. Time to make couch surfing an Olympic sport.

▪ Some rowing events were postponed due to high winds. Which is a good thing, because it allows all the sewage to get blown out to sea.

▪ This may sound un-Californian, but we much prefer six-person volleyball in the gym to the two-person beach version.

Less skin, more strategy.

▪ Say this about the Fresno State football team after one day in full pads: The Bulldogs aren’t practicing like a 3-9 team – or a team than intends on going 3-9 again. Good energy out there.

▪ A few other observations:

The level of play at quarterback is probably the highest it’s been since 2013. Not just Chason Virgil but James Quentin Davis, Zach Kline and Christian Rossi as well. All four are showing themselves.

The passing game looks pretty sharp for the first week of camp. It’s obvious these guys didn’t spend all summer lying out by the pool.

Nathan Madsen, back at defensive end after being miscast as a nose tackle, looks primed for a big year.

Mike Bell and Juju Hughes, a true freshman from Hanford High, are two nice-looking young corners.

▪ Bruce Bochy spent the night at a Miami hospital after “feeling ill.” Let’s hope the cause is nothing more serious than his team’s recent play.

▪ The Giants have lost five straight Madison Bumgarner starts since the all-star break. That’s just as improbable as the Dodgers going 21-13 (through Sunday) and whittling seven games off the Giants’ division lead since Clayton Kershaw got hurt.

▪ Joe Musgrove has a 0.79 ERA for the Houston Astros, and Tony Kemp went 3 for 3 off the bench Sunday night with the game-tying base hit.

Just a reminder there’s MLB-level talent in Fresno every night the Grizzlies are playing.

▪ Colin Kaepernick may not be the 49ers’ quarterback of the future, but he sure as heck should be the quarterback of the present over Blaine Gabbert.

▪ For no particular reason: Edwin Moses

▪ The Yankees wanted to be rid of Alex Rodriguez so badly that they’re paying him the remainder of this year’s $21 million salary and all of next year’s $21 million not to play baseball.

Hopefully A-Rod takes the hint.

▪ The entire Russian Paralympic team has been banned from competing in Rio due to widespread evidence of doping.

Officials became suspicious when Russian wheelchair athletes showed up to events with ripped thighs and calves.

This story was originally published August 8, 2016 at 5:00 PM with the headline "NBC justifies showing Rio Olympics on tape delay by patronizing women."