Marek Warszawski

Warszawski: Hits keep on coming (or not) for Dodgers

The Dodgers and Chase Utley may have slumpy shoulders after getting no-hit for the second time in nine days, but at least Giants ace Madison Bumgarner can pitch against them only once.
The Dodgers and Chase Utley may have slumpy shoulders after getting no-hit for the second time in nine days, but at least Giants ace Madison Bumgarner can pitch against them only once. Associated Press

Enter the Warzone, a minor miner of sports nuggets.

▪ Getting no-hit twice in a 10-day span isn’t the way any baseball team wants to enter its most important series of the season.

Fortunately for the Dodgers, they face Madison Bumgarner only once.

▪ Some solace for frustrated Dodgers fans: After being no-hit on consecutive days, the 1917 White Sox won the World Series.

Sure, that was 98 years ago, but still ...

▪ The Giants have to win every Bumgarner start the rest of the way to have any realistic chance of overtaking the Dodgers.

Which makes Tuesday night’s Bumgarner-Zack Greinke showdown at Dodger Stadium a lot bigger than one in 162.

▪ The Giants have six players making $10 million or more in annual salary.

Bad news: All except Buster Posey are on the disabled list.

Worse: Besides Hunter Pence, you’d trade them all for a healthy Joe Panik ($523,000).

▪ Sounds like Tim Lincecum may have thrown his last pitch for the Giants. Too bad it was an 87-mph fastball.

▪ A 60-year-old Braves fan fell to his death from the upper deck of Turner Field while heckling Alex Rodriguez.

At least he died booing what he loathes.

▪ Fresno State will play multiple quarterbacks in Thursday’s opener against Abilene Christian – just as we predicted.

Keep one eye downfield and the other over your shoulder.

▪ The biggest surprise on the Bulldogs’ depth chart was seeing starting center Bo Bonnheim listed at right guard.

Didn’t see that coming.

▪ Ohio State coach Urban Meyer made students do 20 push-ups each for wearing blue to his Coaching Football class.

Anyone who shows up wearing beige khakis gets automatically expelled.

▪ Sunday wasn’t a great night for Derek Carr. He looked hurried, out of sync and his final pass (if you can call it that) was returned 81 yards for a touchdown.

“That’s on me,” Carr said in the Raiders’ locker room.

Indeed it is.

▪ After Carr finished answering reporters’ questions, he turned to a familiar face and asked a few himself.

Starting with, “How do the Bulldogs look?”

▪ Mom and Dad didn’t raise a liar, so we gave Carr an honest answer. They’re talented but have a ton of question marks.

▪ The word that best describes Raiders linebacker Khalil Mack: unblockable.

▪ After picking up Robert Griffin III’s $16 million option and putting his picture on their Week 1 tickets, the Redskins named Kirk Cousins as their starting quarterback.

No team in professional sports provides more quality off-the-field entertainment.

▪ The Grizzlies sure enjoyed themselves after clinching the franchise’s first division title since 1998.

Considering they’ve lost five straight games since, perhaps a little too much.

▪ The courtroom sketch artist who made Tom Brady look like E.T. has drawn a second, more flattering portrait of the Patriots’ quarterback.

Where’s Ralph Steadman when you really need him?

▪ One day after being rushed to the hospital for a collapsed lung, John Daly was back on the golf course puffing cigarettes.

Because he’s John Daly, that’s why.

▪ For no particular reason: Mike Withycombe

▪ Denali has always been Denali, except to a few politicians from Ohio who insisted on naming it for a president who never visited Alaska.

▪ UCLA cornerback Ishmael Adams was arrested for allegedly trying to steal an Uber driver’s cell phone.

Don’t call me, Ishmael.

The Warzone is a white whale unto himself, available for harpooning (or lampooning) at 559-441-6218, or @MarekTheBee.