It’s been 20 years since the 9/11 attacks but we’re still haunted by that day — every day
Sept. 11 has become more than a national trauma long past. America has lived Sept. 11 every day for 20 years since 2001, even as we watched the last American soldier and their fallen comrades depart Afghanistan last week.
Like Dec. 7, 1941, and Nov. 22, 1963, Sept. 11, 2001, has become a fulcrum. Before. After. Where were you? How did it affect you? Everyone over the age of 25 or so has an answer.
The 9/11 personal anecdotes will accelerate this week among your family, friends and acquaintances. You will see the documentaries. You will read the articles. You will remember whether you want to remember or not.
How has the world changed? Did you take off your shoes at the airport? That’s 9/11. Did you curse TSA for your too-large bottle of shampoo? That’s 9/11. Have an opinion about the chaotic exodus from Afghanistan? That’s 9/11. We all live in Sept. 11, 2001, whether we want to or not.
Like millions of Americans, I remember exactly where I was when I heard the news. I was in bed. My 13-year-old son came into the bedroom and said that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. We turned on the television.
My first reaction was to recall that a B-25 had struck the Empire State Building in 1945. These things can happen. A few minutes into the coverage, it became rather clear that this wasn’t an accident at all.
My wife was in France on a business trip. One of my kids had a fever and was home. The 13-year-old’s reaction to all of this was to play a basketball video game. My daughter went to school.
The horrific dimensions of the attack unfolded quickly, and phrases now burned into our minds forever flew from the screen: Osama. Al Qaeda. Shanksville. United Flight 93. South Tower. “Let’s roll.” Rumsfeld briefing. Cheney. “We hear you!” America’s mayor.
Every single phrase still rings in my head.
To me, those phrases haven’t remotely receded into memory. It’s like watching the Zapruder film and not being able to turn off the projector.
My mind that day spun into the worst possible scenarios. Is this the first wave? Will they nuke Wall Street? New York? Who are we going to war against? How does this affect, well, everything? I sat on my front porch for a month at night, trying not to catastrophize.
My first concern was that my wife was trapped in France. All flights in the United States were grounded immediately. We concocted a plan where she would fly to Vancouver, British Columbia, and walk across the border, where I would pick her up after driving up from Portland. Seventeen days after 9/11, she made it back to Oregon without me going to the Canadian border.
My way of dealing with Sept. 11 emotionally was to volunteer for a commission in the U.S. Naval Reserve. I went to the Pentagon for my interviews on May 3, 2002.
I was greeted by a Navy captain my age in the U.S. Navy Chief of Information office (CHINFO). He was a very agreeable, cordial guy, and asked me to relax, which I did. He asked me if I had any concerns about serving.
I said, “Yes, I do. Helicopters and hat hair.” He laughed. He then pointed out his window, which was in an inner ring in the Pentagon.
“See that scaffold?”
“Yes, sir.”
“That’s where the nose cone of the plane stopped.”
After pleading my case, I was allowed to take the military physical.
Hundreds of young people, none of them remotely my age, were at the Military Entrance Processing Center. I got a taste of the military life when I skipped ahead on a form I had to fill out.
An Army sergeant strolled over to my school desk, where I was about 50 questions ahead after being explicitly told not to skip ahead. The sergeant noted that I had.
The military doesn’t like you to disobey instructions.
“Mr. Ohman! Did I tell you to skip ahead on the questions?”
“No, sergeant.”
“NOW WAIT UNTIL THE REST OF THE CANDIDATES HAVE ANSWERED THE QUESTIONS.”
“Yes, sergeant.”
I passed the physical, anyway.
Later that year, I was denied a commission in the Naval Reserve because I was 13 months over the age requirement.
My 9/11 wasn’t your 9/11. Everyone had a different, searing experience. It was the last time this country had something like unity, for a moment. We can’t even agree on whether vaccines or masks work now. But we shared one thing in common.
Our world changed forever, in a bad way.
Some said then that it was the moment America lost its innocence. That’s ridiculous.
It was a moment where we lost not our innocence, but our complacency.
This story was originally published September 7, 2021 at 5:00 AM with the headline "It’s been 20 years since the 9/11 attacks but we’re still haunted by that day — every day."