Top Divorce Lawyer Shares the 1 Way to Save Your Marriage

The unfortunate reality is that about 1 and 3 marriages ultimately end in divorce, but as one of America's top divorce attorneys explains, it doesn't have to.

James J. Sexton is a prominent New York City-based attorney, author, and relationship expert who has specialized exclusively in divorce and family law for over two decades.

He recently offered some advice on the best way to save your marriage and avoid divorce, and it's actually not couple's therapy.

'Pay Attention'

In a recent Instagram reel shared by the Mel Robbins podcast, Sexton gave his advice on the best way to save your marriage and reconnect with your partner, and it's surprisingly simple.

"The No. 1 way to save your marriage, from a divorce lawyer: Pay attention," he said. "I mean, it's just that simple and it's just that hard."

Sexton explains that this is something that most peole do naturally at the start of all relationships.

"You know, when we're first dating someone, all we can do is just notice every little thing about them. And we try to accord ourselves to meet their sensibilities and to meet their preferences. And we feel and notice every little thing that they do for us, and we feel it deep in our toes," he said.

But, as he points out, it doesn't stay that way. Over time, you become more familiar with your partner and your attention starts to drift away from them.

"And then, of course, over the passage of time, you just start to get used to those things," he warned. "You stop paying such close attention to this person."

While this is natural, Sexton urges everyone to be more intentional and remember that their commitment to their partner.

"But remember: This is the person out of 8 billion other options that you signed on with, and said 'this is my favorite person, and I want to be their favorite person,'" he said.

It Goes Both Ways

Obviously, relationships work both ways and to truly save a marriage, both partners would have to commit. But Sexton points out that by taking this step and initiating paying more attention to your partner, it makes it more likely that they'll pay attention to you, too.

"So the best thing you can do is to just continue to pay attention to your partner. And by the way, it's also the best way to get your partner to pay attention to you. Because we become what we behold," he said.

Sexton said that even if it doesn't happen right away, paying more attention to your partner makes it far more likely that they'll want to reconnect with you, too.

"If there's ever been some disconnection, if you can find to restore that connection by paying attention, the chances of your partner reconnecting to you and starting to pay more attention to you go up exponentially," he said.

This story was originally published by Men's Journal on Jun 3, 2026, where it first appeared in the News section. Add Men's Journal as a Preferred Source by clicking here.

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This story was originally published June 3, 2026 at 3:10 PM.