Author writes about how to make peace, even with those who can't

Author Luca Oake wrote their entire "memoir with a message," referring to themself throughout with a lowercase version of the first-person singular pronoun "I" or, in their case, "i." One of Oake's editors, assuming this was in error, took steps to correct it. Yet Oake, who has been breaking convention for years, assured her it was intentional, having always wondered why a reference to the self should carry more prominence or prestige, as capitalizing the pronoun indicates, than "you" or "we" or "they."

In carrying through with their conviction, this did mean, however, that Oake could never start a sentence with the first-person singular pronoun without causing further disruption to standard English orthography. So be it. After all, disrupters have been playing with pronouns for quite some time now. Oake's preferred personal pronoun is "they."

This isn't the thesis of their memoir. Yet "Forgive For You: A memoir of family, fury, and freedom," does speak to personal perspective.

"The lowercase i created constraint for my memoir," Oake said. "Yet I could not start it any other way. And, although a memoir is, by definition, a biographical account, written from personal perspective, this book isn't about me. It's about forgiveness. I happen to be the conduit, so it is forgiveness told from my lived experience, but forgiveness can't just be about the self."

The story of what harms us, they said, is also a story about those who have done so.

"This book is by me, but I made it for you, whoever you are. I was, at first, reluctant to share other people's stories in my book," they said. "But then I realized, if those folks didn't want me to write a story, they shouldn't have given me a story to write. This book is a memoir in that it's told from my perspective, but it's also a story that's much larger than I, and I respect that."

Here's the context. Oake's father passed away in November 2022 - an event which, for many, changes everything. In the wake of his passing, by the spring of 2023, the idea arose in Oake to write a book about forgiveness. They didn't really want to, but it became clear that they were already leaning into its potential.

"Through the writing of this book," they said, "I began to understand why I was doing so - not so people could read it as much as because I knew I actually could do this. I had it in me, and I needed to go through it. Sometimes, when you realize you can do a thing of value, that's reason enough to get it done."

Oake had the story; did they have the courage? Whether it was courage, confidence or trusting they were ready, they started writing this book in earnest in January 2025.

Besides, the idea behind this book had stalked Oake like a codependent lover. It just wouldn't let them alone.

"I learned, via The Telepathy Tapes podcast," they said, "about how ideas are living entities, and they come to find humans through whom they must have them channeled. I was on task. And still, it gave me pause."

Once Oake decided they had the courage to write "Forgive For You," they wondered if they had the time. Until they lost their job. And, as soon as they felt they didn't have the money to fund this project, resources materialized.

"The idea presented itself, harassed me, actually," they said, "until I could not ignore it. In October 2025, I thought I'd finished the book when I saw, on a link for Tech Week, that there was going to be a pitch competition. So, I prepared a 30-second elevator pitch on forgiveness as an accessible, practical, learnable tool for living life more freely."

Oake didn't win the pitch competition, but the more they talked about it, the more real their idea and their intentions became.

Mental space and physical place to manifest

Oake lives in Las Vegas, but spends nearly as much time in Monterey. Which is where they wrote their book, at "The Pearl Works," a flexible coworking space on Pearl Street, downtown. The organization was established by visionary mother-daughter duo Heidi and Alora Daunt, who believe that meaningful work, care and community are not separate This caused them to cultivate "refreshingly human spaces where professionals can work, connect and grow," said Heidi Daunt.

"Luca is an incredible example of what is possible when someone comes in with a vision and is open to engaging with a community. When Luca first came into The Pearl Works," said Alora Daunt, "they were very focused on writing their book. Over time, they opened up to the community and began sharing more about their work. And then the collaborations started."

Oake had the opportunity tuck into an ADA-compliant "phone booth," where they could work in silence, concentrate, close off distractions and focus on the heart of their book, "forgiveness." When ready, in the same venue, they could step out into a larger space to work with a web designer to launch a webpage, and then return to their booth to record the audiobook of "Forgive for You."

"And Luca was able to brainstorm product ideas with our community operations manager, Dana," Daunt said. "Having embraced everything The Pearl Works community has to offer, they have become one of our biggest cheerleaders, bringing joy, presence, and enthusiasm into the space every time they walk in.

"It has been a delight to witness the evolution of this project and the passion with which Luca is stepping into taking a stand for the transformative power of forgiveness. We are grateful that The Pearl Works gets to be a context for people like Luca to engage, collaborate and share meaningful work."

Oake imagines they walked past The Pearl Works "200, maybe 300 times" yet had never paid attention to what it was. Until they needed a place to work, outside their own living space.

"I have come to understand how helpful it is to work in a space that is actually about work," they said, "with other people who are working alone, together. The environment is so conducive to focused, productive effort. It sets intention."

The only other thing Oake needed to both manifest and materialize their book was Matcha and perhaps a bit of chocolate.

"I don't know if I would have written the book as quickly and clearly as I did without Matcha," they said. "It's like someone turned on all the lights in my brain, but my body does not feel disrupted by it. It's the cleanest caffeine I've ever experienced, and apparently it's good for brain health. Still, I don't ‘know if I would make it without chocolate. Not every day, but I love having the option."

Published in January, "Forgive For You: A memoir of family, fury, and freedom," is available at local bookstores and via Amazon. On Friday, June 26, Luca Oake and The Pearl Works, located at 288 Pearl Street in Monterey, will host a "Forgiveness Friday" event, serving up "Forgiveness by the Slice," with pizza and pie, from 4:30 to 6 p.m. In addition, on Sunday, June 28, River House Books, located at The Crossroads Carmel shopping center, will host an author talk by Luca Oake, from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m.

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