The Golden State Warriors are road killed, running on petrol fumes for what’s left of their bug-splattered ride titled “2016 Warriors < 1996 Bulls.”
They can’t win in San Antonio’s sandbox. They haven’t won at Oracle all month. As for Steph Curry? I could’ve rimmed out a last shot if the Warriors wanted to not win a 55th consecutive home game so bad the other night.
So yeah, those Warriors are horrible, just horrible. Worst 68-8 team in the history of round inflatables. Clearly, they lack ambition by deciding an NBA-record 54 straight home wins was NBA record enough.
Hey you, the one nodding in agreement, you feel better now? Good. Now go away.
We always knew small ball had no lasting place in a big man’s game. Jordan would have made that shot to beat the Celtics. Uphill, in the snow, both ways. With no arms, because Jordan didn’t have arms when he was Curry’s age; he used his nubs, and he liked it just fine.
Hey you, the one nodding in agreement, you feel better now?
Good. Now go away, because you’re mildewing the blast the rest of us are having watching Golden State make basketball watchable again.
We finally know what to do with the Oakland Raiders and their stadium situation, which has all the long-term promise of staying at an hourly-rate motel off the 99.
Let Oakland’s Warriors and San Antonio’s Spurs decide it in the Western Conference playoffs. Seeing homecourt advantage is a bit too advantageous for these lads, we’ll play it in the middle. How does a tent city in Nogales work?
Winning city gets the Raiders and all their fans. In unrelated news, losing city furloughs half their parole staff.
From the files of “Someone’s Got to Win This Thing, So It May As Well Be Us,” we present to you the Fresno State baseball team.
Mike Batesole’s young charges are knee-capping one of the worst versions of Mountain West Conference ball in the history of ever – none rank in the top 25, and New Mexico is the only team getting a vote (singular form) in the coaches’ poll.
Take a cue from men’s basketball,we say to the Fresno State baseball team, and automatic-berth your way into the NCAA Tournament. Because this conference is taking your RPI too close to the earth’s crust to get there otherwise.
It isn’t Fresno State’s fault everyone else is rubble, and it doesn’t diminish what the Bulldogs are doing, so step away from the aluminum bat, Bates. It just doesn’t leave room for mitigating alibis if they miss the tournament a fourth year in a row.
In other words, take a cue from the Fresno State men’s basketball team, and automatic-berth your way into the NCAA Tournament, because this conference is taking your RPI too close to the earth’s crust to get there otherwise.
Speaking of people who might want to take alloy to this space, congrats to Rodney Terry on not getting a different job, and to athletic director Jim Bartko for not mortgaging his office space to keep him. We like the fact that keeping Terry around and maintaining fiscal solvency are not mutually exclusive.
Sure, Terry isn’t making what other coaches make. But then, if he were in this for the higher tax bracket, he never would have come to Fresno, where the cost of living is measured in seat-cushion change and government commodities.
Always remember, it could be worse. Terry could be one of his players, working for econ books and laundromat quarters.
And finally, five months until Fresno State visits Nebraska. Hope this Bulldogs defense chows down a lot of corn-fed beef until then.