A quick spin around Planet Sports, before Fresno State football fans realize their Bulldogs played Clemson on Saturday but were too afraid to tell anyone.
▪ Fresno State football, what a bunch of yellow bellies. You took on No. 1 Alabama and No. 6 Washington in back-to-back funeral processions, and yet lack the constitutional fortitude to schedule a friendly with, say, the New England Patriots during the bye week? Soft already?
▪ But seriously, for all the money Fresno State got for playing those toe-tag games, we hope half of it goes to coach Jeff Tedford for hazard pay. The Mountain West Conference is going to feel like a no-pads practice after the bulge his Bulldogs just battled through.
▪ Cleveland Cavaliers royalist LeBron James stuck up for the scourge of his empire, the Golden State Warriors, calling their Regional Overlord a “bum.” NFL commissioner Roger “CTE My Eye” Goodell stood by his players after they were assailed by the Commander-in-Chief of a sovereign nation. Did the President of the United States deliver on his promise to unite America or what?
▪ All hail the Los Angeles Dodgers, conquerors of the National League West for the fifth straight year – also known as the amount of time it took the San Francisco Giants to win three World Series this decade. Look us up when the Dodgers cash in those regular-season badges for a take-all trophy, which is to say we’re going to miss hearing from you this fall.
▪ We’ll give the Dodgers this (with this being double knotted to an anvil by the sea): when they stink, they stink with a 6-for-26 stink, taking a team-record 11 straight losses on the chin this month. Good on them for being the best at everything, even when it means being best at being worst. Who knew that LA stood for Lost Again?
▪ Half of their six wins since Sept. 2 are against the Giants, who won’t be around in the postseason to kick in the ribs. No, these Giants are too busy trying to make the 100-loss Giants of 1985 the second-worst team in franchise history (goals!). Unlike the Dodgers, at least the Giants made up their minds who they were going to be this season, saving us the trouble of worry.
▪ How bad are the San Francisco 49ers since telling coach Jim Harbaugh to go win football games somewhere else? They’re 0-3 under new coach Kyle Shanahan, and call it progress because they almost beat the Rams on Thursday night football. The St. Angeles Rams. If puking is allowed in the afterlife, Bill Walsh just got cat sick all over his white shoes.
▪ Because former Bee enforcer Adrian Wojnarowski says so, that’s why: The New York Knicks agreed to bubble-wrap Carmelo Anthony to Oklahoma City for two players, a draft pick and the admin credentials to Kevin Durant’s @NawGuysThisAintMe Twitter feed. Thank you, KD, for reminding us every team needs a village Twidiot.
▪ As the Raiders wait for their Vegas residency to close escrow, want to know the biggest news about their 2-0 start heading into Washington on Sunday night? That it’s not big news they’re 2-0. Welcome back to a better normal.
▪ Some of us tried to talk former carpool pal Steve Corkran out of writing a book on former Raiders owner Al Davis, given the presumed literacy deficiencies of his target audience. But sweet mother of Lance Kiffin, did Cork ever pull back the eye patch for an amazing gawk at The Al in his just-released book, “Al Davis: Behind the Raiders Shield.” Lots of pictures included, if that helps, at an amazon.com near you.
▪ Fifty-five days until Fresno State wrestling is back. Preparing for the opener by living on one kiwi per day and wearing plastic trash bags on the sauna treadmill.