Letters to the Editor

GOP candidates are real drips

When The Donald talks dirty, media coverage explodes. I haven’t heard as much discussion regarding bodily fluids since I was in seventh grade.

Is this really presidential fodder? Donald Trump focuses on Marco Rubio’s incredible thirst, and then comments on his copious amounts of sweating. Perhaps Donald thinks if he restricts Marco’s water intake it will solve our water crises.

Marco responds by pointing out Donald’s need to check his pants for possible leakage. It seems Marco has some boundary issues, invading Donald’s personal space, yet, these disputes don’t seem to cause permanent scarring.

The alliances between candidates switch and merge faster than partners at a swingers club. Chris Christie slams Donald then endorses him. These relationships of mutual frottage create enough friction to net the desired big payoff – that coveted, free, not newsworthy headline!

Lately, the main topic for these Republicans seems to be, who was wetter than whom. The one who comes in first is the one who screams and reveals the other’s dampness the loudest. These verbal exchanges seem to have become the new issues of importance and more “slapstickiness” for late-night comedians.

Beatrice Valenzuela, Fresno