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Coming to a wall near you in 2018: Scantily-clad carp (with models). Seriously.

This photo provided by the Illinois Department of Natural Resources shows a silver carp that was caught in the Illinois Waterway below T.J. O'Brien Lock and Dam, approximately nine miles away from Lake Michigan.
This photo provided by the Illinois Department of Natural Resources shows a silver carp that was caught in the Illinois Waterway below T.J. O'Brien Lock and Dam, approximately nine miles away from Lake Michigan. AP

Being featured on the Carponizer Carp Calendar probably isn’t the crowning achievement of anyone’s modeling career.

But it is eye-catching.

Perhaps the quirkiest not-safe-for-work calendar of every year since 2015 is back, and it’s just as fishy as ever. The Carponizer pairs sometimes-reluctant-looking women with one of the most overlooked fish in the pond, and the result is one of the least practical calendars you’ll see.

But the calendar’s producer frames it differently. To German fishing equipment salesman Henrik Pohler, who has put out the calendar each of the last four years, the Carponizer calendar is all about putting the scaly main actors in as attractive a light as possible.

“On Amazon, we are ranked in the top bestselling calendars,” Pohler told the UK’s Daily Mail. “In Germany it’s always the number one sports calendar.”

In a search from the U.S. on Tuesday, the Carponizer did not come up in a list of Amazon’s top 100 bestselling calendars. The 2018 edition has just one user review at the moment, with the reviewer claiming the 17-pound price tag is “too much!!!!!!!!”

According to a translated version of the Amazon description of the 2017 calendar, “12 capital carp were trapped with great caution in the first step” and “the convincing end result of the shoot consists of 12 impressive and always worth seeing picture motifs.”

Sure. Motifs. The Carponizer using the word “motifs” in its description sounds like all those guys who used to claim they read “Playboy” for the really good longform articles.

Some fun facts about carp:

  • The species was designated a “trash fish” by generations of fly fishermen, who saw carp as too unsophisticated for the long rod.
  • There are two variants of the common carp: The mirror carp, with much larger scales, and the leather carp, which has virtually no scales, except for near the dorsal fin.
  • The carp is native to Europe and Asia.

The U.S. has its own version of this calendar. Doesn’t everyone need a Fishing Buddy?

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