Hello! It’s Tuesday, August 30, 2016, and I’m here with your helping of the Morning Scoop. (Subscribe here to receive the Scoop in your inbox because I need more friends.)
What You Need to Know
• Fresno’s Granite Park is getting another chance at life. Hey, remember when Kim Kardashian was supposed to show up in 2009 for the opening of a nightclub there? Did that ever happen? Hit me up on Twitter and remind me.
• Gene Wilder’s nephew has revealed how the actor’s commitment to making fans happy kept him from disclosing his deteriorating condition to the public.
• Convicted rapist Brock Turner is leaving jail after serving half his sentence.
• The EU wants Apple to pay $14.5 billion in back taxes and I want to know why my MacBook Pro won’t hold a charge anymore.
• If it’s not already your practice, you may want to just stay away from Tulare today.
• “Tower, this is Ghost Rider requesting a flyby.”
What You Want to Know
• A new coffee place in Fresno has noodle chairs. Noodle chairs!
• A goat busted his favorite Clydesdale out of horse jail and 10/10 I would watch this movie.
• One time I tweeted at Christopher Gorham about an episode he did of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and he replied back. It was a social media highlight for me.
What You Wish You Didn’t Know
• If you abuse animals, please have the decency to put the evidence on Facebook so police can hunt you down.
• And finally, Matthew McConaughey is a college professor now because there are no rules in 2016. Have a great day, scholars.