‘Morning. It’s Monday, Dec. 19, 2016 and I’m here with your helping of the Morning Scoop. Subscribe here to get the Scoop in your inbox because you want to be informed but not too informed.
What You Need to Know
• Today, 538 people are likely to make a really bad decision.
• White supremacists are making themselves known in a small town in Montana with typically disgusting behavior.
• Senior citizens are now apparently murdering each other.
• This story about reunited twin girls reads like it’s heartwarming, but what happens now? Do they stay in separate families? I NEED TO KNOW.
• It’s so cold, tiny ghosts are appearing in area yards!
What You Want to Know
• Zsa Zsa Gabor’s obituary is quite a read. Seriously, take the time.
• The lifelong Raiders fans in my family are looking at all the bandwagoners like, “Uh huh.”
• The liquor store near my house will be open on Christmas Day, but if you need a more substantial meal, here are some restaurants that also will be open.
What You Wish You Didn’t Know
• Twin brothers in the state I call North Florida were arrested for stealing 180 bars of soap, which sounds like the beginning of a story none of us wants to hear.
• A woman in Pennsylvania who thought it’d be funny to steal baby Jesus from a Nativity scene and deliver him to the hospital as a neglected child is now in jail because: duh.
• And finally, this should not exist.
Happy Monday, all!
Heather McLane: email@example.com, @heather_mclane