Heyyyy. It’s Friday, Dec. 16, 2016 and I’m here with your helping of the Morning Scoop. Subscribe here to get the Scoop in your inbox because you want to be informed but not too informed.
What You Need to Know
• Dylann Roof has been found guilty of killing nine people at a church in South Carolina, and now a jury will decide if he gets the death penalty.
• Parents are asking for help from schools as Fresno County sees an alarming rise in teen suicides.
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• Fresno police are getting a bunch of new semiautomatic rifles, but not everyone is excited about this.
• My mom is going to have to drive to the edges of town to recycle her cans if the city has its way.
• Anyone else feel like some politicians aren’t even trying to pretend they care about people anymore?
• I assume this story about a lion club at the Fresno Chaffee Zoo was tagged to the “Crime” page because the little thief will steal your heart.
What You Want to Know
• Josh Tehee is anti-lion cub; wants you to go see a band instead.
• Relive the year in Valley pop culture, won’t you?
• I like this idea about spending money on experiences instead of things at Christmas, but I also like seeing gifts under a tree, so I don’t know what I want.
• The best animated movie of the year according to Rick Bentley is now on DVD. No, not that movie. The other one.
What You Wish You Didn’t Know
• A city in Delaware has been overrun with goldfish.
• In more fish terror news, an electrocuted salmon knocked out power to 200 people in Seattle.
• And finally, in the most Z-list celeb story ever, Scott Baio, who never really lived up to the promise of Chachi, has filed a police report claiming Nancy Mack, architect and wife of Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer Chad Smith, beat him up.
It’s Friday, you guys! How are we still over a week away from Christmas, though? Go faster, time. And have a good weekend, everyone.
Heather McLane: email@example.com, @heather_mclane