Heyyyy. It’s Friday, Dec. 2, 2016 and I’m here with your helping of the Morning Scoop. Subscribe here to get the Scoop in your inbox because you want to be informed but not too informed.
What You Need to Know
• Ford is recalling 680,000 cars whose seat belts are basically just decoration.
• The estranged and clearly awful father of a teenage boy who lost his leg in a pit bull attack has stolen donations raised for the teen’s recovery.
• Dolly Parton, an actual living legend, is offering help to families who lost their homes to wildfire in Tennessee.
• Xavier Becerra, California’s attorney general pick, to the president-elect: “Come at us, bro.”
• It’s 2016 and schools still haven’t figured out whether or how to teach a book that came out over a century ago.
• It’s about to get super cold, so protect the people, pipes, pets and plants around you.
What You Want to Know
• Neil Diamond is coming to Fresno and now I have “Heartlight” stuck in my head and I feel like my brain could’ve chosen better.
• This Wes Anderson-directed commercial is all I ever wanted for Christmas.
• Fresno’s brand-new Cultural Arts District Park looks super cool and amazing.
• Yes, it’s cold, but you should still check out some local music this week.
What You Wish You Didn’t Know
• Dispatch from the War on Christmas: the market price of two turtle doves and 12 drummers drumming has dramatically increased since last year.
• We live in a time when the word “doody” is gleefully used in Associated Press headlines.
• And finally, can’t a thrifty beaver do some holiday shopping without folks getting in its business? Can’t a beaver just live?
Christmas is in three weeks and I still haven’t watched “Love Actually” yet so I’ll be doing that this weekend. I hope you have a good one, as well.
Heather McLane: email@example.com, @heather_mclane