Heyyyy. It’s Friday, Nov. 18, 2016 and I’m here with your helping of the Morning Scoop. (Subscribe here to get the Scoop in your inbox because you want to be informed but not too informed.)
What You Need to Know
• Vladimir Putin says Russia is working on new weapons, so that should end nicely.
• An off-duty volunteer firefighter who stopped to help crash victims in Ballico, Calif., was carjacked because some humans are pretty much just walking turds.
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• Several hundred people got together at Fresno City College yesterday to protest the Dakota Access Pipeline.
• Stealing money from your employer continues to be illegal.
What You Want to Know
• You should already be thinking about that turkey you’re going to cook next week. Seriously, do not screw this up.
• Someone is buying the ‘Amityville Horror’ house, so look for some horror movie sequels to be coming your way soon.
• Yesterday, someone told me to cool it with the dying dog stories, so here is a story about a polar bear serenely petting a dog. It is the most pure thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
• Wait, no! This video of a 5-week-old lion cub being its cute self at the Fresno Chaffee Zoo is the purest. We don’t deserve animals, you guys.
What You Wish You Didn’t Know
• Kanye West continues to be the worst.
• And finally, Kanye West, who is the worst, will be in Fresno Tuesday.
Have a good weekend, everyone. Get out of town and go look at some beautiful butterflies, why don’t you.
Heather McLane: email@example.com, @heather_mclane