Hey there. It’s Wednesday, Nov. 2, 2016, and I’m here with your helping of the Morning Scoop. (Subscribe here to get the Scoop in your inbox because you’re already thinking about turkey.)
What You Need to Know
• The ACLU is suing California over a law that has never actually been enforced and will be overturned at the start of the year, which seems like a great way to waste some time and money.
• A pickup truck lost control and rammed into a BBQ place in Fresno yesterday and now all I can think about are ribs.
• Yesterday’s Comcast outage was caused by vandals. All those other times you can’t get decent service? *shrug*
• Here’s a very tragic and awful story about smartphone distraction.
• You know how you’re always like, “Boy, I wish they’d close the roads more often for events I don’t plan on participating in”? This weekend.
• Continuing to remind me years after graduating Clovis High that I’m still not good enough, Clovis Unified has created an Athletic Hall of Fame.
What You Want to Know
• Imagine your cocktails fulfilling all your fruit and vegetable requirements for the day. Now stop imagining and get back to work, you lush.
• Selma Arts Center is putting on a stage adaptation of “Big Fish,” which you’ll recall is an amazing Tim Burton movie starring Ideal Man™ Ewan McGregor.
What You Wish You Didn’t Know
• A few more details about what happened when a Florida teen killed and started eating a couple in their driveway last August have emerged and they’re … not great.
• And finally, first they come for our jobs, then they come for … just our jobs, probably.
Have a great Wednesday!
Heather McLane: email@example.com, @heather_mclane