Hi. It’s Thursday, Oct. 27, 2016, and I’m here with your helping of the Morning Scoop. (Subscribe here to get the Scoop in your inbox because you too thought it was Friday when you woke up this morning.)
What You Need to Know
• America in 2016: Some schools that serve as polling places will shut down on Election Day for fear of violence.
• America in 2016, part 2: An old man was punched in the face for literally telling kids to get off his lawn.
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• Despite rumors of a Disney takeover, Twitter can’t find a buyer so it had to lay off 9 percent of its workforce. Hashtag sorry.
• People complain about it costing more to fly out of Fresno than other cities, but is that actually true? Absolutely!
• Water might fall from the sky this evening, so start stockpiling those canned goods now.
What You Want to Know
• Apparently Tom Hanks’ new movie is the suck, so just watch his David Pumpkins “SNL” skit on loop for two hours instead.
• Looking for a couple of ways to celebrate Dia de los Muertos in Fresno? Here you go!
• This story on what it’s been like for a transgender Fresno State student named Love to have his name printed on his ID card is a must-read. Seriously.
• Teams keep winning in the World Series. Or losing, depending on how you look at it.
• And we all get free tacos at Taco Bell next week because of a stolen base? Okay!
What You Wish You Didn’t Know
• Trying to keep up with the Joneses? The latest trend according to police is overdosing in the car with your kids in the backseat. Neat.
• And finally, if you complain to your hairstylist about your new cut, you miiight get a face full of pepper spray.
Happy Thursday! Not Friday. It is not Friday.
Heather McLane: email@example.com, @heather_mclane