Hey. It’s Wednesday, Oct. 26, 2016, and I’m here with your helping of the Morning Scoop. (Subscribe here to get the Scoop in your inbox because the words “hump day” make you cringe, too.)
What You Need to Know
• People are being gunned down in the streets of Fresno every day now, or maybe it just seems that way.
• A couple of people who talk all day for a living talked loudly to each other.
• You probably don’t drink or even touch the water in the San Luis Reservoir, so just keep doing that.
What You Want to Know
• Two baseball teams that have traditionally been so bad, feel-good movies had to be made about them have made it to the World Series, and one of them won last night.
• Area restaurants are giving away free food for various reasons, so you should try to get in on that.
• Here are some music options for the upcoming Halloween weekend.
• There will be a funeral Saturday for eight local babies who were abandoned or unidentified, and the public is encouraged to attend.
What You Wish You Didn’t Know
• Convicted wife killer Scott Peterson is living it up on Death Row.
• Some people steal centuries-old gravestones to use on their patios because sure.
• And finally, a man in a state that shall go unnamed fell out of his truck on the way home from the strip club and ran himself over, which begs the question: How are humans not extinct yet?
Have a great Wednesday, everyone. If you’re still deciding how to vote, the Bee has some recommendations. Use them or don’t. Democracy!
Heather McLane: email@example.com, @heather_mclane