Good morning, all. It’s Monday, Oct. 24, 2016, and I’m here with your helping of the Morning Scoop. (Subscribe here to get the Scoop in your inbox because Monday is a day for being proactive.)
What You Need to Know
• I really can’t handle this story about a dog who died trying to protect a toddler from a fire.
• Or this story about a horrifying and tragic bus crash that happened yesterday.
• So let’s talk about a bunch of heroic women in Rhode Island who marched over the weekend for their right – our right – to wear yoga pants whenever we damn well feel like it.
• I bet Tim DeRuyter’s wearing comfy pants right now. Fresno State fired him on Sunday, which seems like a harsh way to ruin someone’s weekend.
• Speaking of harsh, it might be illegal to take selfies in the voting booth depending on where you live. Sowwy.
What You Want to Know
• Wonder Woman was named a U.N. Honorary Ambassador for the Empowerment of Women and Girls and some people are annoyed because some people are always annoyed.
• There’s a big show at Save Mart Center this week. Blue people on tall poles and stuff.
• Imagine how much better work would be right now if your dog was with you.
• Especially if your dog was wearing a costume!
What You Wish You Didn’t Know
• A woman checked her security footage in the middle of the night and found a gloved man at her door. Sounds like a Halloween movie, but garbage humans exist in real life and they are out to get you.
• And finally, a very drunk woman in Wisconsin used peanut butter to paint phallic symbols and profanities on the cars of people she thought were attending a Trump rally. They were not.
Have a great Monday, all!
Heather McLane: firstname.lastname@example.org, @heather_mclane