Hi there. It’s Monday, Oct. 3, 2016, and I’m here with your helping of the Morning Scoop. (Subscribe here to get the Scoop in your inbox because it’s October, you guys. October.)
What You Need to Know
• In what sounds like a terrifying ordeal, business woman and mother Kim Kardashian West was held up at gunpoint by thieves in her hotel room in Paris.
• Want to know more about the two men vying for Fresno mayor? John Ellis has put in some work creating profiles of each.
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• If you get bit by an animal, the pain of the bite is just the beginning – it’s receiving the bill that’s the suck part.
• A heightened earthquake alert has been issued for southern California, but this happens every year, so don’t start stockpiling the batteries and bottled water just yet.
• Americans’ oft-used phrase “this is a free country” may have to be modified to “this is the 15th most free country in the world.”
• Here’s why “Trump taxes” was trending all weekend.
What You Want to Know
• Yes, we’re all annoyed that Christmas stuff is starting to pop up at stores, but you do have to buy gifts eventually, so here’s where to keep track of retail openings and closings.
• There will be a number of book-signing events in Fresno in October, so go and then read.
• DOG FASHION SHOW. Because let’s face it: this is the only hard news you can really handle on a Monday morning.
What You Wish You Didn’t Know
• A guy in New York has decided to wear every piece of trash he generates for 30 days and I bet he smells like activism and success. Or maybe like dead, decaying food. 50/50.
• A man who’s watched a lot of “Project Runway” and too much porn probably, was arrested in New Jersey for wearing a bikini made of clear plastic wrap.
• And finally, if you’re desperate for an excuse as to why you’re late to work, “attacked by a knife-wielding clown” is creative though ultimately not super believable.
Have a good Monday, everyone!
Heather McLane: firstname.lastname@example.org, @heather_mclane