Yoooo. It’s Friday, Sept. 16, 2016, and I’m here with your helping of the Morning Scoop. (Subscribe here to get the Scoop in your inbox because.)
What You Need to Know
• Symbols such as the flag, national anthem and any meme featuring a bald eagle mean different things to different people. That’s kind of what makes America, America.
• … Though not if you ask this high school principal in Florida.
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• Apple has removed the headphone jack from its phones and people have feelings about it. People like this guy.
• The Oakland Raiders are one step closer to relocating.
• It’s still not ever okay for teachers to take advantage of their students.
• A lawmaker in Wyoming decided to share some thoughts about women in the workplace and I’d like to share some thoughts about him eating a meal and taking a nap first whenever he feels the need to say words out loud.
What You Want to Know
• Here’s a great opportunity to donate to the Community Food Bank before the holiday season.
• It’s legit mind-blowing to consider that prehistoric animals once walked our land, leaving their giant skulls everywhere.
• There are a bunch of ways for the Emmy Awards to completely screw things up. Here are ten.
What You Wish You Didn’t Know
• The mere idea of touching Donald Trump’s hair makes me vom, but I’m not as concerned with ratings as some people.
• Some people find modern art to be crappy and in this case they are correct.
• And finally: Worried about Zika? Don’t forget West Nile!
Have a great weekend, you guys. I’ll miss you.
Heather McLane: email@example.com, @heather_mclane