Hi. It’s Friday, Sept. 9, 2016, and I’m here with your helping of the Morning Scoop. (Subscribe here to get the Scoop in your inbox because the weekend is nigh.)
What You Need to Know
• A 73-year-old Fresno woman has been arrested after police found 20 pounds of opium in her house, thus proving you’re never too old to completely screw up at life.
• A man led police on a chase from Ivanhoe to Visalia and back, and I’d literally never heard of Ivanhoe until just now.
• Deborah Manning, Fresno teacher and bookstore owner who sounds like a really cool lady, has died.
• The San Diego Zoo burned $1M in rhino-horn items and I bet the smell was … something.
• The last Mervyn’s location in Fresno will soon house a shocking number of purple treadmills.
What You Want to Know
• Tupac Shakur’s dream of opening a restaurant will come to life in Fresno for one night only.
• If you like walking outside, there are a lot of places to do that in this area.
• A bunch of kids with tennis rackets will be running around this weekend, but it’s okay. They’re supposed to be here.
• Bruce Springsteen is great but a four-hour concert is ridiculous, so rein it in, Boss.
What You Wish You Didn’t Know
• If someone on your marketing team suggests using a tragedy like 9/11 to sell your product, fire that person immediately.
• And finally, a California man who surprised his girlfriend with a trip to Hawaii ended up paralyzed because the universe looks for opportunities.
Have a great weekend, everyone! If you find yourself bored, look up your favorite restaurants’ health code inspections. Guaranteed fun for the whole family.
Heather McLane: email@example.com, @heather_mclane