Heyyy, it’s Thursday, Sept. 8, 2016, and I’m here with your helping of the Morning Scoop. (Subscribe here to get the Scoop in your inbox because you get the joke.)
What You Need to Know
• A 14-year-old is suspected of shooting a pair of brothers in Fresno.
• There was a horrible accident on Highway 99 yesterday that makes me legitimately scared to travel.
• Football player David Carr has opinions on Colin Kaepernick.
• America’s Sweetheart™ Ryan Lochte, who is busy doing “Dancing with the Stars” anyway, has been suspended from swimming for a while.
• After today, everyone will know what Aleppo is.
• Two more months until the election is over. Two.
What You Want to Know
• Yosemite has received an additional 400 acres in order to save bears and owls, which is noble and glorious and the only reason to do anything, really.
• Fresno’s Fashawn will lend his many talents to The Know’s art showcase happening this Friday.
• 16-year-old motorcycle racer Cayla Rivas is cooler than most people. Cooler than you and me, for sure.
• Get ready to swipe right: Danniel-with-two-n’s loves bread, acts like a puppy, and hopes to be the tallest Holstein from hoof to withers.
What You Wish You Didn’t Know
• People in Connecticut are scared of acronyms.
• And finally, a man in the Huntington Lake area has died after being stung by a swarm of wasps.
Have a great Thursday, everyone. Give Danniel a call.
Heather McLane: email@example.com, @heather_mclane