Howdy, people. It’s Monday, Sept. 5, 2016, and I’m here with your helping of the Morning Scoop. (Subscribe right here to get the Scoop in your inbox because we’re all in this Monday holiday together.)
What You Need to Know
• Two officers brutally shot at the Fresno County jail remain in critical condition.
• Fresno auto show icon and owner of a magnificent beard Michael “Blackie” Gejeian has died.
• The Fresno State football team and its fans behaved nicely on Saturday.
• Fresno and Visalia have the same street names, but maybe that’s not the point of this article.
• Families speaking up about their substandard housing are finding that their landlords aren’t into it.
What You Want to Know
• Harry Connick Jr. is hosting a new talk show and I feel we need to be treating our more talented performers better than this.
• The Bee wants your vacation photos for the next ArtHop. Sadly, my walks around the block with my dog don’t qualify.
• Sometimes you see CHP cars zigzag on the freeway and there’s an actual reason for this.
• I swear, I saw this ad campaign at least 100 times while watching a “Kardashians” marathon yesterday. I mean, while watching the news. News.
What You Wish You Didn’t Know
• A toddler in Washington was issued a citation for littering, and it’s never too early to learn how not to be a butthead.
• And finally, first a visit from Donald Trump, then Chris Brown. Tulare County is … so lucky.
Happy Labor Day, everyone! Try not to think about having to be back at work in 24 hours.
Heather McLane: email@example.com, @heather_mclane