FIFTY SHADES OF GREY (R)
Directed by: Sam Taylor-Johnson.
Starring: Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson.
The pitch: Young woman discovers a sexual awakening with a billionaire. The only thing stopping true love is the contract he needs signed to allow him to get kinky.
The formula: Put a chilling bit of “Body Heat” into the mix. Still in every plot from Cinemax After Dark. Whip up some moments from the failed FOX comedy “Ben and Kate.”
Go see it: If you are looking for something to hold over your significant other’s head when you want to watch sports. “Yes, this is the 10th NFL game this weekend but I sat through ‘Fifty Shades of Grey.’”
Don’t go see it: I wish for this more than peace on Earth.
Say something nice: It really does have a great soundtrack. Buy that instead.