Enter the Warzone, your life raft on the vast ocean of sports.
Judging by his long hair, skater punk wardrobe and fondness for Choco Tacos, we're not exactly stunned that San Francisco Giants ace Tim Lincecum got busted for marijuana possession.
But what the heck is a Cy Young Award winner doing driving around in a 4-year-old Mercedes?
What athletes do in the offseason is their business. Except when they spark up behind the wheel, which is what folks tend to think when you're caught speeding with a pot pipe in the car.
*Nothing official, but word is that Dan Rohn won't be back as Fresno Grizzlies manager in 2010.
A likely replacement is Steve Decker, who led the Double-A Connecticut Defenders to an 83-59 record and a division title last season. Decker also was Fresno's hitting coach in 2003-04.
*Now we know why Fresno State is so determined to make Ryan Mathews a Heisman Trophy candidate -- even when he really isn't.
Gotta sell a bunch of $16 T-shirts.
Still, it's hard to fault Fresno State for seeking alternative revenue sources. Not when 27,721 fans show up to watch Mathews romp for 185 yards and two touchdowns on the most glorious afternoon of the year.
*No sooner than the WAC hired a public relations firm to promote Boise State's BCS push, every newspaper and Web site had a story about how the Broncos can't schedule a quality opponent.
Then Boise State had a 10-point "scare" against Louisiana Tech. No way to spin that one.
*For all the hype about USC's Matt Barkley, he isn't even the best freshman quarterback in the Pac-10.
It's Stanford's Andrew Luck. Just ask Oregon.
*Do you ever wonder if those Oakland Raiders official statements ("ESPN routinely disseminates falsehoods about the Raiders ... utilizing lies and innuendo") are written in Alameda or North Korea?
*Continuing his interest in law enforcement, Shaquille O'Neal applied to be a sheriff's deputy in Cleveland.
You know times are tough when even Shaq needs a second paycheck.
*For no particular reason: Lenn Sakata
*If you haven't seen the video of Elizabeth Lambert, the New Mexico women's soccer player whose skills include kicking, forearm shivers and ponytail-yanking, by all means check it out.
Lambert has been suspended, but the lass is the toast of soccer hooligans worldwide.
*Minarets High teacher Jay Smoljan has designed an "extreme P.E." class that includes mountain biking, Wii Fit, orienteering, line dancing and kick boxing. Eventually, he'd like to add rock climbing, beach volleyball, paintball and archery.
We love this concept, just as long as there's no BASE jumping.
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