Now that the Let Tim Smoke crowd has moved to Orange County, we offer you Let MadBum Hit as the latest cause to take the streets of China Basin.
We already know Madison Bumgarner won’t pitch in Tuesday’s All-Star game, not after he starts in Sunday’s getaway episode of Giants vs. Diamondbacks. That’s no reason to dispatch him to the western woods of North Carolina for a week’s furlough.
Hand the bearded man a bat – chopped and carved on his own back hill, we presume – and let him take some 402-yard cuts off the bench. Bumgarner has 13 career home runs, so he can handle himself just fine in a back-alley hitting cage. Two were served on a kibosh stick by Clayton Kershaw, the Dodgers’ regular-season hero himself.
Seeing that the 56-win Giants will be playing in their biennial World Series soon enough, why not let the pitcher slated to start Games 1 through 4 go ahead and secure home-field advantage for himself?
Because with the NFL just two weeks away, we’d hate for baseball to give the summer crowd something different worth watching.
Speaking of the League With No Offseason – The Western United States Raiders – Oakland, San Antonio, Las Vegas, wherever – are the trendy pick to win the AFC West.
Which is to say, this division has all the sophistication and promise of a shovel swing to the back of the head, but somebody’s got to win it. Or be the only team to not lose it.
But, go ahead, Darth Raider Nation. Hurry and hang that preseason banner before the Raiders report to training camp and ruin everything.
Speaking of Premature Parades Routes That Went the Way of Pink Unicorns – The Golden State Warriors by all accounts have won every NBA title from here through the next landlocked war in Asia.
That’s what people think when you add Kevin Durant to the best team to never score a single point in the final 4 1/2 minutes of their season. Even old man Ray Allen has joined the ensemble, but why stop there?
Throw in Chris Paul, Russell Westbrook, comedian Bill Murray (“Space Jam” version) and Meadowlark Lemon, because why not? If the Warriors are going to take their toys back from the Cleveland LeBrons, they’ll need all the hired help they can get.
Now for a Reality Break – Can we be serious for one minute, in a sports-don’t-actually-matter sort of way, before you call me a xenophobe for not DVRing European soccer?
Kristi Villasenor isn’t a former softball player or a Fresno State alum today, and she isn’t some local storyline from a national catastrophe.
She’s a heartbroken widow and now a single mom, about to bury her longtime companion, slain Dallas police officer Patrick Zamarippa.
That should devastate all of our hearts as we mourn with those who mourn from Fresno to Louisiana.