We decided to vary the Thanksgiving menu. Let's serve roast whole pig! (We had a hog ranch.)
How do you cook it? Try the library! The cookbook said, "Use a suckling pig under six weeks old." Ours was nine weeks old.
"The farmer will prepare it for you." We were the farmers.
"Dip in hot water and scrape." It took five razor blades to shave it.
Ours wouldn't fit in the oven. We had to cut off the back legs at the knee.
"Place a raw potato in the mouth to hold it open." The potato baked and the mouth closed.
"Serve on a large platter." We built one with wood.
"Hang a garland of holly around the neck." We had no holly, so we used celery leaves. It tasted pretty good!