Good morning! It’s Monday, Dec. 12, 2016 and I’m here with your helping of the Morning Scoop. Subscribe here to get the Scoop in your inbox because you want to be informed but not too informed.
What You Need to Know
• Trump, who during his candidacy publicly called for Russian hackers to invade Hillary Clinton’s emails, is now calling the assertion that Russian hackers interfered in the election “ridiculous,” because we’re clearly living in the Upside Down.
• The president-elect also doesn’t seem to know or understand what climate change is, but as a result of warming temps, all of the other reindeer who used to laugh and call him names are now just standing around losing weight.
• Here’s what it will look like for millions of people in the Valley if Obamacare is repealed.
• Things are not looking great at McLane High (no relation).
• A 66-year-old bird is pregnant again, so don’t stop believin’.
What You Want to Know
• Your favorite TV shows are not canceled, they’re merely taking a winter hiatus, so please put down the butter knife, Aunt Shirley.
• A bunch of people put on goofy costumes then started running around in an effort to raise money for Toys for Tots.
• The show must go on at the Hanford Fox Theatre, even if the sky starts falling.
• O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree.
What You Wish You Didn’t Know
• Wedding guests are suing the groom after they were hit by a photo-taking drone, and yet people still think flying cars seem like a good idea.
• Hundreds of people lined up in Texas to buy some bourbon they don’t plan on drinking. *shrug*
• And finally, this is some top-level, all-star “get off my lawn” behavior right here.
Heather McLane: firstname.lastname@example.org, @heather_mclane