Howdy! It’s Wednesday, Oct. 19, 2016, and I’m here with your helping of the Morning Scoop. (Subscribe here to get the Scoop in your inbox because it’s finally feeling like fall.)
What You Need to Know
• A veterinarian who killed a neighbor’s cat with a bow and arrow won’t be allowed to practice vet work for a year.
• Tulare police need help locating this missing teen, so keep your eyes peeled.
• Las Vegas took another big step toward maybe-probably acquiring the Oakland Raiders. They want that team badly, you guys.
• Police in Florida are stumped by a particularly unusual case, so get your deerstalkers on, amateur Sherlocks, and see if you can solve this one.
• There’s going to be more of this tonight, so start drinking now.
• Remember, kids: Friends don’t let friends make stupid clown-tinged threats.
What You Want to Know
• Kim Kardashian’s husband will return to Fresno to say a lot of words and maybe perform some songs.
• Leon Panetta will speak on partisan divide during a San Joaquin Valley Town Hall lecture series this morning. It’s probably too late for you to go, so why am I telling you this? So you make sure you don’t miss the next lecture in the series.
• I love pumpkins and will post any pumpkin story I come across from now until Christmas season starts, so settle in.
• The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame should change its name, or maybe I’m confused about what ‘rock and roll’ is.
What You Wish You Didn’t Know
• If you teach a chimpanzee to smoke cigarettes, you shouldn’t be allowed to be a zoo anymore.
• And finally, what’s worse: people who mistreat animals or people who mistreat old people?
Happy Wednesday, everyone! The answer to that last question was: “Tie, definitely.”
Heather McLane: email@example.com, @heather_mclane