Heyyy buddy. It’s Friday, Oct. 7, 2016, and I’m here with your helping of the Morning Scoop. (Subscribe here to get the Scoop in your inbox because reading the news can be a lot.)
What You Need to Know
• Hurricane Matthew is currently making its way through the southeast U.S. Best wishes to everyone in its path.
• Just how bad is this hurricane? Bad, according to the Waffle House Index. You read that right.
• Speaking of bad, Manson follower Leslie Van Houten has been denied bail because murder does not pay. You hear? Don’t murder.
• Apparently, you can’t kick reporters out of a courtroom. Something about the First Amendment.
• If your instinct is to film people in trouble instead of helping, you’re in no position to judge your fellow humans. Just a thought.
• Even Stephen King is like, “You guys. Enough with the clowns.”
What You Want to Know
• Despite the company going bankrupt, Fresno’s Sweet Tomatoes will stay open. I’m more relieved about this than I probably should be.
• This story about a quadruple amputee getting new arms is worth a read, especially if you feel like you’re having a rough day.
• A Fall Festival to be held in Tulare will feature a “live music petting zoo,” which I think is a typo but I’m going to pretend it’s animals playing tiny instruments.
• There’s a Phantom in Saroyan Theatre and Donald Munro has a lot of stuff to say about it.
What You Wish You Didn’t Know
• Bigfoot was spotted in Michigan. No big deal.
• And finally, sacrificing a goat for your sports ball team seems crazy but also maybe delicious.