Prop. 8 spurs last-minute rush to marry

Same-sex couples hurry to wed in Fresno, fearing passage of ban next week.

Friday, Oct. 31, 2008

With time running out before Tuesday's election, gay couples rushed to wed in downtown Fresno on Friday.

It was a spate of Halloween weddings spurred by fear of a ballot proposition that would outlaw same-sex marriage.

Fridays are always the busiest days for weddings at the county clerk's office, and Halloween -- when the world goes a little topsy-turvy -- has long been a popular day for weddings, said clerk Victor Salazar.

But many of the couples packing the Fresno County clerk's office clad in mobster suits and swashbuckling gear instead of more traditional wedding attire weren't there because Halloween was their first choice of a wedding day. Instead they thought it might be their last chance.

Since June, same-sex couples have had the right to marry in California. However, Proposition 8 would amend the state constitution to define marriage as only between a man and a woman. Early polls showed the proposition trailing. But in recent weeks, the margin has narrowed, and the lines of people waiting to marry have increased.

"We've performed more same-sex weddings in the past three weeks than the whole time it's been legal," said clerk Stacy Warrick, dressed as a pirate's wench and using an orange marker to add the names of another couple to a waiting list.

Fittingly for a day when appearances can be deceiving, new mothers-in-law Debbie VanTilburg, 50, of Orange County and Debra Alvarez, 50, of Coalinga were among those congratulating a happy couple.

They each love their daughters -- who love each other. Emily Alvarez, 26, and Jacki Pimental, 27, married in downtown Fresno on Friday.

Both mothers also are adamantly in favor of Prop. 8.

Alvarez has a "Yes on 8" campaign sign on her lawn. She was at a rally in downtown Fresno last weekend when Mayor Alan Autry said same-sex marriage "shakes the foundations of America."

She says she's happy that her daughter is in a loving relationship with VanTilburg's daughter. She stood witness to their vows. But she'll vote against their marriage.

It's a contradiction she has trouble explaining -- even to herself.

"I'm trying to understand," she says. "We're a close family. We support each other. But there's my religion, my idea of how things should be. There's conflict there."

Pimental says her mother, VanTilburg, is "politics 24/7: McCain and conservative." She knows her mother plans to vote yes on 8.

"I'm entitled to my opinion: Marriage is between a man and a woman," VanTilburg says.

But she still drove four hours to be at her gay daughter's wedding.

"I was doing backflips because she was here," Pimental says.

"Oh, baby, you knew I'd be here," VanTilburg says, kissing her on the cheek. "I love my kids."

Alvarez says she and Pimental are fine with their mothers voting for Prop. 8 -- and against their daughters' marriage.

"They have a right to their opinions. They were still the ones that stood up for us, our witnesses. It's our moms."

Alvarez and Pimental are used to people who would extend them kindness, but not the right to marry.

They put their wedding announcement in Coalinga's local newspaper.

"We got 200 calls of congratulations. People who didn't even know us were standing up for us," Pimental says. "It's a very small town and they're very much against gay marriage, but once people got to know me they were always kind."

The Alvarez family is Mormon. Mormons have been active participants in the Yes on 8 campaign, donating an estimated $8.4 million.

After the wedding announcement in the paper, some neighbors hassled Emily Alvarez's Mormon grandfather, a retired housepainter, saying, "Hey, isn't that your granddaughter marrying another woman?"

"You know what he told them?" Debra Alvarez asks, looking straight at Emily. "He said, 'That is my granddaughter and I'm very proud of the person she is.' "

Should Prop. 8 pass, new weddings likely will halt immediately. Although the ballot measure doesn't specify when it would take effect -- the issue is expected to go straight to the courts.

The fate of same-sex marriages performed between June and November would be in limbo. Legal experts disagree on whether the amendment would retroactively void marriages already performed or whether those marriages would remain valid.

"We just wanted to make sure we were married before Nov. 4, so that we at least have a chance," Pimental says.

The margin between Prop. 8's proponents and opponents recently narrowed, according to a survey.

A Field Poll of 966 likely voters conducted between Oct. 18 and 28 shows 49% opposed the measure, 44% favored it and 7% were undecided. The margin was narrower than in September, when the poll showed the measure trailing by a margin of 52% to 38%.

The new poll also found that "significant proportions" of voters on both sides feel conflicted about the issue.

Debra Alvarez says she and VanTilburg understand about being conflicted.

"There's our religious background. There's honoring the wishes of our children."

This weekend, the two new mothers-in-law and their newlywed daughters will celebrate the wedding.

"Then on Tuesday," says Debra Alvarez, "we go to the polls and cancel each other out."