You can tell from the title, “Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates,” the film deals with two guys who don’t want to be alone at their sister’s nuptials. There’s a lot the name doesn’t tell you.
“Mike and Dave” need a story that doesn’t insult anyone over the age of 3.
“Mike and Dave” need to find a way to harness the annoying goofiness of Adam Devine and actually make him act.
“Mike and Dave” need to apologize for wasting the talents of Anna Kendrick.
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“Mike and Dave” needs to be limited to screenings that only happen on Friday night in Hell.
The film’s loosely based on a the book “Mike and David Need Wedding Dates: And a Thousand Cocktails” written by Dave and Mike Stangle. It recounts how they turned to Craigslist to advertise for two women to accompany them to a wedding.
Kendrick and Aubrey Plaza play the two women who decide that while they aren’t the nice girls the brothers seek, they can fake it long enough to get a free trip to Hawaii.
First time feature film director Jake Szymanski takes that miniscule nugget of an idea, beats it to death with raunchy humor and delivers it through acting performances that look like rejected auditions from community production of “Wedding Crashers: The Musical.” Whenever the story slows, which is about every three seconds, Szymanski lets Devine deliver a laughless rant or Plaza make a joke about a male sex organ.
Maybe in a frat house at 3 a.m., when everyone is one drink away from passing out, the jokes would be funny. But they just come across as painfully desperate – one moment that would help justify this depressingly stupid film a comedy.
There’s nothing wrong with an immature plot and juvenile humor. That can be funny. But it takes skill to make it work. Otherwise, the material falls as flat as Zac Efron’s career.
Need proof of that failed career? His last three feature films have been “Dirty Grandpa,” “Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising” and this clunker. His only hope is they will do a TV series based on “High School Musical” and he can do what Henry Winkler did with the Fonz on “Happy Days” and play the role until he’s 50.
Devine is no help. His idea of acting is making a face that looks like he’s trying to have a major bowel movement. That’s at least fitting because his work puts off such a foul odor. There hasn’t been a film career this bad since Rob Schneider made his big-screen debut.
Writers Andrew Jay Cohen and Brendan O’Brien had little with which to work. That doesn’t let them off the hook for comedy bits that were considered old 20 years ago. Is there anyone who doesn’t suspect when microphones are attached to the brothers that they are going to say things they didn’t expect others to hear?
Hear this. Try harder to be more original.
This movie is so desperate to find humor there’s a scene where an ATV flies through the air at a woman’s face. For some odd reason, she forgets to duck and takes the hit. Maybe in the sequel, the director can have a bus full of kittens and homeless children rocket through the air at a group of elderly blind people. That’s not funny, but neither is this movie.
One thing’s certain, “Mike and Dave” won’t need Oscar dates.
Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates
Cast: Zac Efron, Adam Devine, Anna Kendrick, Aubrey Plaza, Stephen Root
Director: Jake Szymanski
Rated R (crude sexual content, language, drug use, graphic nudity)
Opens: Friday, July 8