JUPITER ASCENDING (PG-13)
Directed by: Andy and Lana Wachowski.
Starring: Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, Sean Bean, Eddie Redmayne.
The pitch: Young woman who spends her days cleaning the toilets of the rich and famous learns she’s in line to inherit the Earth.
The formula: Blast off with a heavy load of “Battlefield Earth.” Reach a wobbly orbit with “Cloud Atlas.” Watch it all collapse under the landing of “The Adventures of Pluto Nash.”
Go see it: If you lose a bet.
Don’t go see it: Unless you enjoy throwing away money.
Hope it is too late: If Eddie Redmayne loses the Oscar for his brilliant work in “The Theory of Everything,” it will be because of this movie.