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Furloughs no laughing matter

Published online on Saturday, Jul. 25, 2009

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Enter the Warzone, more riveting than an episode of Gangland.

During his tenure as Fresno State football coach, Pat Hill has answered more than his share of stupid questions.

This past week, Hill directed a good question to John Welty about how furloughs might affect his coaching staff -- and got a stupid answer.

"If you lost on Saturday," Welty said from the podium, "you better work all week." Everyone in the room laughed. Except the coach.

Wow. Has Hill's standing fallen so far that even the university president uses him as a punchline?

Can't say we're shocked the owners of the Fresno Grizzlies are back at City Hall with their pockets turned out.

Company bailouts, they're as American as baseball, apple pie and TMZ.

What a sick Peeping Tom Society we inhabit when ESPN sideline hottie Erin Andrews gets secretly videotaped in the nude while dressing in a hotel room.

Of course, no one would've known for sure it was Andrews if her employer hadn't confirmed her identity.

Switching from the NAIA to NCAA Division II would be a great move for Fresno Pacific except for one thing: No more 30-year-old Chinese imports who can crush the air out of a volleyball.

Retired Bee sportswriter Ken Robison must've been in tennis heaven this past week watching John McEnroe and Robert Kendrick square off against Martina Navratilova and Raquel Kops-Jones.

Page 2 isn't the same without you, big guy.

Dang, that Kendrick is kind of a hothead, isn't he? No wonder he's McEnroe's doubles partner in World Team Tennis.

From the Now We've Seen Everything Dept., French tennis player Richard Gasquet blamed a positive drug test on kissing a woman who had cocaine on her lips.

Good thing Gasquet didn't test positive for Copenhagen.

Gotta love SEC football media days, where the juicy topic was which coach left Florida quarterback Tim Tebow off his preseason all-conference ballot.

South Carolina's Steve Spurrier 'fessed up to the crime, saying it was all a big misunderstanding.

Uh huh.

In other blockbuster SEC news, Tebow disclosed he is, in fact, a virgin.

Strange that a guy can score that many touchdowns without ever getting into the end zone.

For no particular reason: Marty Perez.

We like this version of Lance Armstrong -- appreciative, relaxed and more humble -- better than when he was dominating the Tour de France.

Sure hope Rickey Henderson's Hall of Fame induction speech today will be as entertaining as watching him play.

But our favorite Rickey moment came one night outside the Oakland Coliseum hours after an A's game in the late '90s.

A group of college kids witnessed a visibly agitated Henderson pacing and muttering to himself, "Rickey don't like it when Rickey has to wait for Rickey's ride."


The Warzone never talks about himself in the third person. Nope. He has far too much humility. Send offerings to marekw@fresnobee.com or (559) 441-6218.

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