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Enter the Warzone, hovering between saucy and sauced.
*Reports out of San Francisco 49ers camp indicate rookie tight end Bear Pascoe, a sixth-round pick from Fresno State, has quickly carved out a niche as a sure-handed receiver and relentless blocker.
Just as predictably, the Bay Area media is eating up Pascoe's colorful moniker and cattleman roots.
Wrote the San Francisco Chronicle: "This is one big galoot, towering nearly seven feet from the bottoms of his boots to the crown of his battered cowboy hat."
The Legend of Bear continues.
*We think Vince McMahon let Denver Nuggets owner Stan Kroenke off the hook too easy for double-booking the Pepsi Center.
McMahon should've given up the building only on the condition that The Undertaker start at power forward.
*No matter how well the Nuggets and Orlando Magic are playing, there's no force in the cosmos strong enough to alter the Kobe-LeBron collision course.
Just to be sure, we're keeping our fingers crossed.
*Each year Fresno State's softball team stumbles at regionals, the less likely the Bulldogs will ever return to the Women's College World Series under coach Margie Wright.
*Through 22 games, home runs are flying out of new Yankee Stadium at an all-time record pace. Adding to the concern, Alex Rodriguez has only played in nine of them.
Isn't this supposed to be the Post-Steroid Era?
*Jesus Guzman looked worse in two innings at first base with the San Francisco Giants than he did in 39 games with the Fresno Grizzlies, which weren't exactly pretty.
Unless Guzman (0 for 6 in his first two games) starts hitting, he'll be back at The Chuk soon enough. Same goes for Kevin Frandsen (0 for 14).
*While the Los Angeles Dodgers make 50 games without Manny Ramirez look like a mere inconvenience, the Giants treat their fans to nightly sessions on the torture rack.
No one ever said life was fair.
*Sincerely hope this is rock bottom for Ryan Leaf, indicted in Texas for breaking into an apartment and stealing pain killers prescribed to an injured football player.
The only place lower than here is a boxing ring with Danny Bonaduce in the opposite corner.
*Got stuck the other day below Shaver Lake behind a slow-moving RV with a large satellite dish on top towing both a party barge and a Suzuki Samurai.
Gotta love folks who "get away from it all" by bringing everything with them.
*For no apparent reason: Vai Sikahema.
*Contestants in the Belgian bodybuilding championships reportedly fled the scene when doping officials showed up unexpectedly.
Wonder if they took their needles with them.
*Before Michael Vick signs with any NFL team, he should be sent to obedience training.
*If Helio Castroneves can outrun the IRS, surely he'll be up front during today's Indianapolis 500.
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