Enter the Warzone, scurrying for cover faster than a Storyland Inn cockroach.
*We know better than to make snap judgments based on one spring scrimmage, but unless Fresno State finds a receiver who can actually catch the ball, it won't matter who the starting quarterback is.
*After Ryan Colburn and Ebahn Feathers played it safe initially, checking down to underneath receivers, freshman Derek Carr came in and fired a 40-yard spiral into a howling wind on his first play.
Gotta love the kid's moxie. Too bad receiver Devon Wylie let the ball bounce off his helmet.
*With a crowded stable of tailbacks that includes Ryan Mathews, Lonyae Miller, Anthony Harding and even Jamal Rashad, no Bulldogs fan in their right mind should complain about coach Pat Hill's run-heavy philosophy.
*Aside from that inexplicable December nonconference game at Illinois -- don't forget to pack the long johns -- the biggest surprise on the 2009 schedule is the Sept. 18 Western Athletic Conference opener against Boise State.
Reminds us of those childhood spankings we used to get from Dad. Might as well get it over with.
*We've mentioned this before, but it's almost unheard of for a Division I college football team to play seven road games two years in a row.
If Athletic Director Thomas Boeh weren't invisible, perhaps he'd offer an explanation.
*Reader John Maffeo of Clovis alertly points out that The Bee has yet to update its NFL logo graphic.
The new logo, introduced last March, uses a more modern font, reduces the number of stars on the NFL shield from 25 to eight and displays the football at a different angle.
Can't slip things past some people. Ten lashes each for our page designers.
*Misleading headline of the week (taken from a Fresno State-issued news release): Ahmady Launches a Home Run.
Later, we find out the Bulldogs lost to UC Davis 11-3.
*Those who love lots of scoring are in for a treat this summer at Chukchansi Park.
A projected Fresno Grizzlies' Opening Night lineup featuring Scott McClain, Josh Phelps, Jesus Guzman, John Bowker and (surprisingly) Kevin Frandsen ought to be good for 10 runs per game.
Unfortunately, the pitching staff might give up 11.
*From the we-don't-make-this-stuff-up file, the San Francisco Giants' team dentist is named Les Plack.
*In his final exhibition start, Giants right-hander Matt Cain struck out the side in the first inning but not before issuing three walks and throwing 36 pitches.
Nice to see Cain already in midseason form.
*For no particular reason: Greg Kelser.
*Cut by the New York Giants, Plaxico Burress is said to be anxiously awaiting his next shot with an NFL team.
*New York Yankees owner Hal Steinbrenner admits some tickets at the New Yankee Stadium "might be overpriced."
How big of him. Even AIG executives can't afford $2,625 seats.
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