Enter the Warzone, ringing in the New Year with a few jabs.
Nice of Fresno Falcons co-owner Brian Glover to inform us the de-iced hockey team lost more than $4 million during the past three years. Would have been nicer had he spoken up 13 months ago before the city spent $5 million to upgrade Selland Arena.
Perhaps Glover figured those improvements were meant for the Ice Capades.
Not sure if this was a joke or an oversight, but the mass e-mail sent out by Falcons CEO John Tull announcing the team had ceased operations included this phrase near the bottom: FRESNO FALCONS SEASON TICKETS STILL ON SALE!
Get 'em while they're hot.
Which of these events has a greater chance of taking place in 2009?
The Falcons return to the ECHL under new ownership or Pat Hill changes his offensive philosophy.
We'll take neither for $800, Alex.
Don't mean to imply that Fresno State's football coach is inflexible, but we've seen plaster walls with more give.
We've heard the publishers of Webster's New World Dictionary are adding a new verb -- gartrell -- to their next edition.
It means "to run over, around or through your opponent while encountering little or no resistance."
Gartrell Johnson's 285 rushing yards against Fresno State in the New Mexico Bowl reminds us of Utah's Mike Anderson gashing the Bulldogs for 254 yards in the 1999 Las Vegas Bowl.
After that game, Hill challenged his defense to become "more physical" during the offseason. Sounds like good advice even now.
Because both are extremely large and ... um, lack quickness, Fresno State big man Brandon Webster earned the nickname "Glacier" last season from certain members of the media. (One in particular.) Now add global warming to the list of shared attributes. Our man has dropped a few pounds.
For fans wishing talented freshman Paul George would assert himself more offensively, look at it this way: If George did that, he wouldn't be here as a sophomore.
For no apparent reason: Andrea Bona.
The New York Yankees signed slugging first baseman Mark Teixeira to a $180 million contract. Isn't that kind of like Hell getting an extra heater?
Best of luck to ex-Fresno Grizzlies infielder Lance Niekro, another in the long line of failed San Francisco Giants position prospects, attempting to resurrect his career as a knuckleballer. That gives us an idea: Teach Todd Linden and Tony Torcato the eephus pitch.
Great Moments in Sports Journalism, Pt. 2
Former UC-Davis basketball coach Bob Williams (now at UC-Santa Barbara) following an ugly victory: If that game was a guy, he would never get a date.
Us: What if it was a girl?
Williams: Then you'd say she had a nice personality.
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