Third Places

Published online on Sunday, Jan. 25, 2009

I search for Third Places. Coffee shops for farmers. Community centers, small town cafes. Barber shops, beauty salons. Pubs, gardens, neighborhood restaurants. Post offices, libraries, farmers markets, the place on the corner.

These are places where people gather, talk face-to-face, trade information, debate and engage. They're called Third Places, a term coined by Ray Oldenburg in his book, "The Great Good Place."

For most of us, we think of our home as the first place and the work setting as our second place. Third Places are those informal meeting sites where we are welcomed, food and drink often available, accessible to the public, comfortable and relaxing; places that bring people together in civic engagement, creative interaction.

Fictional examples include the "Cheers" bar, the restaurant on "Seinfeld," the coffee shop of "Friends," the bar in "How I Met Your Mother."

Third Places encourage social contact between patrons, a real-life alternative to TV, a partial escape from home and work. These sites are not necessarily Internet friendly. Surfing the Web often blocks social interaction when users become absorbed by remote connections instead of the person next to them.

Newer technology, cell phones, texting, Bluetooth, BlackBerries, all isolate the individual. Third Places occupy real space. They're reliable and consistent, the place where "everyone knows your name." Ideas and opinions are abundant, topics widespread from politics to art, sports to books, movies to music.

As other social institutions decline in popularity, such as the bowling alley or the corner store, coupled with the loss of real main streets with neighbors out of their cars and walking, Third Places create an important gathering place for democracy, as witnessed in the recent election. Obama versus McCain, Palin versus the world, the importance of Iowa and New Hampshire, the red versus the blue counties, all contributed to a healthy debate.

Third Places offer a public lens by which residents can participate in community interaction, rather than through the filter of a blogger or media. Habits of public association are formed, community building at the grass-roots level. The health of a community can be judged by the number of Third Places.

The best Third Places are inclusive, not exclusive. They promote social equality, the status of the participants leveled, titles checked at the door. Informal in nature, these places do not restrict by membership, they are open to all -- creating a unique mix required for stimulating conversations.

Spontaneous town halls are conducted daily. Participants tend to have an opinion on everything because this is not about being judged. In a welcoming environment, people share a common history that can outweigh biases; they tolerate difference.

(This is true most of the time -- there are still some topics that create an uneasy silence, awkward indifference or even hostility. However, with time, people usually "come around" -- after all, who would have thought we'd elect an African-American president and Fresno County would be "blue"?)

The character of Third Places includes regular clientele and a playful atmosphere in contrast to the seriousness of work and home. Often in unpretentious buildings, these places avoid anything that distracts from conversations and camaraderie. No fences separating neighbors. Participants getting out of their cars.

Unlike the modern shopping mall, at Third Places there is the anticipation of interaction as eyes search for contact with familiar faces. People stop and actually talk without the push of a crowd and the expectation of a monetary transaction. When you shop, you finish your purchase and leave. At Third Places, saying good-bye carries the anticipation of seeing that person tomorrow.