Similar stories:
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TROUBLE, SUGGESTIONS, HANDSHAKES
DISCOURAGED
Q: Dear Ms. Culp, I have extensive experience in the legal field -- as bookkeeper, legal assistant, paralegal, office manager, and personnel manager. In September, 2006, I was laid off because of the firm’s financial difficulties. The position I took the following January was all right for six months, until two women staff members, intent on securing their positions, became disgruntled with me. The mental abuse led to physical problems and declining performance.
They let me go 11 months after being hired (and having received a bonus and much praise) saying that the chemistry wasn't right. My attorney and office manager thought I was imagining everything. Since January of 2008 I’ve had no work, despite having sent out a multitude of resumes. Sinking
A: Dear Sinking, Start swimming! Don’t just send out resumes. Get out and about. Talk to people. Get referrals from people you’ve worked with over the years -- bosses, co-workers, vendors, clients. Go where legal administrators congregate. Look
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Be discreet about boss' absence
Dear Amy: My boss is away from the office for surgery related to cancer. What is an appropriate response to people who ask where he is?
-- Wondering assistant
Dear Assistant: Your boss should have covered this with you before he left, but because he didn't, I'm going to suggest a script that tips toward discretion.
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INERT, SILENT, ANNOYING
TOO MUCH
Q: Dr. Culp: I work in my husband's psychotherapy office and some evenings and weekends in retail. My B.A. is in sociology. I’m looking for a (real) job with income, but I get stuck every single time about my "reason for leaving" when I try to explain that even though I work at his office, I can have another job and help him on weekends, as needed. I am not part of the payroll and we’ve figured out how he would run the office. We can’t hire a secretary, but our teenage daughter would be able to help after school. I am seeking jobs with the State, but the process is extremely long and slow. How can I convince employers that I can leave this job? Also, my typing skills are weak -- 35-40wpm -- and usually insurance forms, not full letters. I am frustrated and feel so stuck. Please help! Stuck
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Talking to the boss about easing your workload
Suzy Meyer, 25, once worked as a hotel manager. "We were very short staffed. I worked 10 days on with none off."
Then her boss approached her to work two extra days a week on a regular basis. "I know you need my help, but I would need some time off," Meyer says she told her manager.
She never got the time off and decided to return to school, where she is now pursuing her master's in human resource management.
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REAL WORLD, SALARY REQUIREMENTS, SHOCKED
ECONOMY
Q: Dear Dr. Culp, I'm in the early-to-middle part of my career with about eight years of non-managerial experience. I get good results but have limited experience managing and strategizing, which are key to moving up the ladder. Most job postings I find are mid-level; so I talk up past project work and examples, although I fail to close the deal. I find myself having more luck talking down my work history and interviewing for lower-level positions, which sounds counter-intuitive. Would I really be going backward or is it just a matter of getting in the door in this economy? Uncertain
A: Dear Uncertain, You’ll be certain if you recognize that your dilemma isn’t related to the economy. It’s the way business operates. Getting in the door is the most important thing at any time, but make certain it’s the correct door.
Dear Amy: My wife of many years put in her two weeks' notice yesterday.
She was discussing a project with her boss, and he would not move forward on it. Then he raised his voice a couple of times and hung up on her.
She says this has happened many times.
Coincidentally, several years ago I worked for another company related to the company my wife works for, and my boss at one point cursed and raised his voice big time with me. I have zero tolerance for that kind of behavior.
My former boss and that company were very lucky I didn't resign and sue them!
My wife and I are in a racial minority; those two bosses are Caucasian and from military backgrounds. They are settled into the "good old boy system."
I'm ready to say what the hell and sue the life out of them. What do you think?
-- Tired
Dear Tired: You don't present any evidence that your wife is a victim of racism or that she has been singled out for unfair treatment. Furthermore, your choice to throw down the race card instead of playing the hand you're dealt is offensive and an affront to people who really are discriminated against in the workplace.
Work is hard. That's why they call it work. Anyone who has ever held a job has encountered colleagues or supervisors who are unpleasant, rude or incompetent. It's not a crime to be obnoxious -- or a bad manager.
Any complaints your wife might lodge with HR could benefit future employees, but she doesn't seem to have developed a case against her boss.
Dear Amy: I have been living with my paramour for almost three years. We are both in our 50s. We dated for two years before that.
He is still married, despite a lengthy legal separation. He often says it is "time to do something" about that, but that is as far as it goes.
I find myself wondering -- am I all alone in this relationship?
How do I broach this subject without sounding needy and greedy -- or is that what I am being?
-- Need to know
Dear Need: You should take steps to untangle your finances, look for an affordable place to live (the rental housing market is particularly good now) and tell your guy that you adore him but that you made a mistake to move in together. Tell him he should get in touch when he's no longer married.
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