Dear Amy: I have a longtime lady friend whom I also work with. She got married just over a year ago.
Her husband ran away a couple of times for days at a time while they were dating and during their engagement.
They have a child together, and she feels she might have gone through with the wedding only because of their kid.
There has always been a connection between us, and it has come to the surface that there may be feelings there from both parties.
I am close to her husband as well. I don't want to feel as if I'm trying to steal her away from him, because I am also divorced and had my wife stolen from me by a guy.
However, if she is married for the wrong reasons, how does she figure that out?
I'd like to know if it's OK to try to have a relationship with her.
-- Lonely Guy
Dear Lonely: Getting married for the sake of a child isn't such a bad reason to tie the knot.
Your friend is responsible for her own choices.
You shouldn't trivialize her choices, and she shouldn't use you as a motivation to leave her marriage.
Your friend's judgment will be clouded if you reveal your feelings for her. You are also at risk of doing the very thing you claim destroyed your own marriage.
You seem to be asking my permission to move in on these friends and interfere with their marriage.
Sorry, permission denied.
Dear Amy: I've just read another comment about the family whose feelings were hurt because their teenage kids were not invited to a family member's wedding reception.
Why not reserve a room at the wedding venue or at a community center (or even someone's house), pay someone a small sum to supervise and give them their own party?
It doesn't have to cost much; a boom box or iPod docking station, or some family musicians if there are any, and a pot luck, chips and/or cupcakes or a cake.
The couple can stop by at some point to let the kids congratulate them.
-- Ruth
Dear Ruth: This is an interesting idea, though it puts the marrying couple in the position of hosting and paying for a parallel reception.
I also wonder whether this would satisfy those parents who feel their children should be included in the "real" reception.
A few rules are needed to help foster a feeling of community. We encourage a free and open exchange of ideas in a climate of mutual respect, but any post that violates someone's right to use and enjoy fresnobee.com is prohibited. Before you post, please read the terms of use and obey these simple guidelines.
Here are the ground rules:
Contents of this site are © Copyright The Fresno Bee. All rights reserved.
E-Mail
Print
@Nyx.CommentBody@