Be careful with baby's social security number

Published online on Tuesday, Oct. 27, 2009

Dear Amy: I am a new mother. My baby is 4 months old.

With the holidays just around the corner, I have many family members asking for the child's Social Security number because they would like to purchase savings bonds for the child.

In the past, my family has dealt with identity theft within the family, and I am not comfortable putting my child at risk.

What is the proper response to a family member asking for the Social Security number of the child to purchase savings bonds as gifts?

Not everyone in the family is aware of the past problems, and I don't want to make it sound as though I don't trust anyone, but I just don't want to risk the Social Security number getting in the wrong hands.

-- Protective mother

Dear Protective: You do not need a recipient's Social Security number to purchase a saving's bond as a gift -- as long as the saving's bond is purchased in paper form (not electronic) through a financial institution.

If the bond is purchased online through the Treasury Department, the giver will set up an online account and will need the recipient's Social Security number to complete the transaction. For more information, check www.treasurydirect.gov.

I agree with your instinct to be careful with your child's Social Security number. Don't give it casually to anyone.

Dear Amy: I am in a 1 1/2-year-old relationship, and I have always hinted (OK -- flat-out said) to my boyfriend that I like to receive flowers.

So far I have received flowers on my birthday. One other time, when we were at the market, he had me pick out some flowers, so the element of surprise was not there.

I like to think of myself as a very thoughtful and quite generous person and wish my partner were a bit more like me in that area.

Any thoughts?

-- No flowers

Dear No: It's strange, but the more you insist on how easy it would be to please you, the more obvious it is that you are not so easily pleased.

It sounds like a simple and straightforward matter to tell someone exactly what you would like to have him fulfill your reasonable gift demand.

And yet -- people really don't like to be told what to do. This is about control. You and your guy are doing a little dance to determine who's in charge.

Ease up. If you want flowers, get them for yourself. Make yourself happy.